


What Really Matters

by Anonymous



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Bottom Killua Zoldyck, Duet partners, Fluff, Gay, Gonkillu - Freeform, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, MusicAU, Performing Arts AU, Romance, Savannah Rea, Smut, Top Gon Freecs, hunterxhunter - Freeform, hxh - Freeform, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24440251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Killua Zoldyck attends a performing arts school that his family forced him into. However, his negative view of the school quickly changes once he gets assigned a new duet partner, Gon Freeccs, that he works alongside with for the rest of the year. Or the story where Killua and Gon run away together and read it to find out exactly why.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 66
Kudos: 277
Collections: anonymous





	1. Prologue

"Breaking News! The well-known duet partners Gon Freeccs and Killua Zoldyck are declared missing! Gon Freecss, who has been growing popularity since working beside Killua Zoldyck, was last seen three days ago in Zaban City on May 5th, where he and Killua last performed. The Zoldyck family has offered one million dollars for any information on where Killua Zoldyck might be."

Killua muted the car radio.

"I didn't expect them to realize so quickly." Gon muttered with a hint of aggravation.

Killua hummed in response.

The open plains were hypnotic by the way they rolled as they drove through the desolated part of the country. They've been driving for at least a day by now. The only breaks that they took were simply stops at gas stations in the smaller towns. Gon was the only one who had his license, so he was the driver. But that didn't matter, because the second they were recognized, Killua would be sent home only never to see Gon again.

The only person Gon told about their escape was his Aunt Mito, who was his primary caregiver. He didn't want her to worry if he was dead, and writing letters or sending emails were too risky, according to Killua. Their friends have probably figured it out. As much as they tried to hide it, their romantic feelings towards one another started to become evident near the end.

Gon found it surprising how everything even led up to this—one extraordinary event after another. I guess life is one big adventure.

Gon watched Killua through the car mirror. His face held a peaceful look as he silently looked through the glass of the car window. The air conditioner weakly blew at some of the small bleach white hairs around his face. Gon's heart warmed up just at the sight of his lover. As long as he has Killua, he can take whatever life throws at him, whether it's big or small. After all, life really is just one big adventure.


	2. One Friday Night

Killua pulled his headphones on and cranked up the volume loud enough to where it drowned out all the background noise of the nightclub. Live music was playing near the entrance, and for once, Killua wasn't the one creating it. He didn't care much for jazz anyways. Killua didn't bother to change out of his suit that he wore to his earlier school performance, either. It was a Friday night, who gives a shit.

Killua didn't go to bars often. Heck, his family was practically watching his every move. But if he were to go out, he would always visit this one. It wasn't popular, but it never seemed to check his age like other bars. Killua was a senior in high school, close to becoming an adult legally, but not the legal drinking age. Not that he ever got drunk. Killua had somewhat built a tolerance with the strong alcohol because of his parents serving it at the dinner table, so it only helped him to relax a bit.

He sat on the barstool and scrolled through his phone to find another piece to listen to until some red-haired girl dared to caress his arm in a disgusting flirty way. He was just going to ignore it until the bitch ripped off his headphones and then had the audacity to wink at him.

Killua gave her a hard glare, "Not interested." waving his hand dismissively to emphasize his point.

"Stubborn one, aren't you? Why don't you want to talk to me?" The scent of alcohol coming from her flooded Killua's nostrils even from a distance.

"Because I don't associate with whores." Killua deadpanned.

Pfft, that should do it.

The drunken woman angrily raised her scrawny arm to slap Killua, but before she landed the blow, Killua saw a firm bronze arm grip her wrist, stopping her from landing the blow.

Killua's gaze followed to the owner of the arm. The man was younger-looking, probably around Killua's age; the apron he was wearing indicated that he was the bartender. Killua hasn't seen him around before, so he must be new. He had tan skin and big brown eyes that gave his face the impression of innocence. His black hair spiked up, and the amount of compact muscle was something to take note of. Overall, this guy was attractive, and Killua could appreciate that.

"No fighting in here please," The bartender gave an agitated grin.

With that, the redhead slapped money on the counter and left with a stomp.

Typical.

The bartender turned to him with a relieved smile on his face "So, anything you want to drink?"

Killua rested his chin on his hand and mumbled, "I'll take a chocolate vodka with extra whip cream." He looked up and smirked. "Aren't you a little young to be a bartender?"

The man laughed and leaned on the counter, getting close to Killua's face and whispering, "Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" He finished with a flick of Killua's bangs.

Killua felt his entire face heat up from embarrassment. "J-just give me the drink already!" He stumbled out. This guy caught him off guard.

"The name's Gon." He slid the ordered drink across the counter to Killua. " I'm actually a senior in high school, but my grandmother owns this bar. My Aunt and I just moved here a few days ago to help her run the place ." Gon stated, presenting a wide grin that stretched across the plains of his face.

"Cool," Killua responded, trying not to sound as interested as he really was. He started slurping down the drink Gon made. It was actually pretty good. 

"Hmm, can I possibly get a name to call you by?" Gon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you flirting with me or something?" Killua responded, trying to play it off cool, but the uptick in his voice gave him away.

"Why are you dressed in a suit?" Gon questioned once more.

Nice dodging the question.

Killua eyed him suspiciously, "Are bartenders supposed to interrogate their customers?" 

Gon grinned and left to check on some of the other costumers. Killua rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling through his phone for music. He clicked on the Sonata in B minor, No. 3 by Chopin.

His family was well known classical musicians. It's not anything like the fame popular pop stars or actresses receive. Still, they were accessible enough to where most people would recognize the Zoldyck name, whether it was because of their wealth or ranking in the musician world. For some reason, he was the only one out of his four other siblings to develop perfect pitch, so his parents destined Killua to pass on the family legacy. Killua did love music, but he hated being forced into it by his family.

Killua fluffed out in sheer annoyance once he felt another person take off his headphones. He looked up to see who the culprit was only to find Gon listening with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"This is Chopin, right?" Gon said before handing Killua's headphones back to him.

Killua gave him an impressed expression. "I'm surprised you know that." Most kids—most people don't even know who Chopin is.

Gon leaned over close to Killua's ear. "Does that mean I'm special then?"

Gon's breath fanned his neck, lips ghosting the rim of his ear, feeling Gon's hand gently tug at the edge of his shirt. He shivered. Gon's breath smelled faintly of alcohol. "We can't be seen doing this," Killua whispered.

He felt Gon smile, "Why, you famous or something?"

Killua snorted.

Gon reached down to grab Killua's hand; his fingers were slowly tracing his palm. "We live above the bar. My bedroom is upstairs."

Fuck Yes.

Gon led Killua through the door with an employee's only sign on it and up the stairs to a dark hallway. Killua blindly followed him while subconsciously staring at Gon's shoulder blades that peeked through the white tank top he was wearing. They stopped moving once stopping at a brown wooden door Killua assumed to be the entry to Gon's bedroom.

"Don't worry. I'm not trying to kidnap or kill you." Gon joked after noticing Killua's tension.

"Tch, I'd like to see you try." Killua retorted. He couldn't help but smile around this idiot.

Gon's room was an average size. The walls were a dull beige color, and a large pale blue rug covered the wooden floor. There was one giant window by his bed that had a bird feeder hanging next to it from the outside. An old upright piano stood by a desk that towered with large stacks of paper.

Killua slowly walked over and sat on the side of Gon's bed, fingers sinking into the cushiony bedding. He looked up at Gon, who was leaning against the bedroom door with his arms crossed.

After a moment passed of both boys silently staring at each other, Killua spoke softly. "Killua."

Gon eyes widened. "Huh?"

"My name," Killua answered with a small smile.

Something about Gon made Killua want to smile—want to be happy. Maybe it was the way he seemed so welcoming to his presence, or perhaps the way his smile seemed to lighten up the atmosphere. Either way, Killua couldn't push down the giddy feeling of excitement when Gon walked closer to him, cupped his face, and leaned down to capture his lips.

Gon's lips were rough as stone but warm.

Killua couldn't contain a hum of satisfaction that escaped his lips, the sweet smell of the alcohol engulfing everything "Just how drunk are you?" giggling softly.

"I'm fucked." Gon responded, pushing Killua down on the bed looming over him.

Heat rushed through Killua’s entire body. The moonlight shone brightly from Gon's window highlighting Gon's sharp features; his seductive gaze roaming Killua's squirming figure beneath him.

Killua let out air he didn't know he was holding in. "Will any household members catch us?" The last thing Killua wanted was Gon's grandma to walk in with his dick out.

Gon shook his head and dipped down to lick up Killua's neck before grinning and kissing him hard.

Killua rushed to keep up. His arms left his side and traveled up Gon's strong arms, fingers latching to Gon's back, shivering when he feeling Gon lick the seams of his lips. Parting his lips, he granted him access. A whine as he felt powerful hips collide with his own, and he wrapped his legs tightly around Gon's waste, trying to press as close to his as possible.

Killua is a virgin. Sophomore year he made out with his girlfriend at the time, but that was the furthest he's gone. And they both cried after Killua realized he didn't want it. But this was a completely new sensation. The sensation of Gon kissing Killua passionately and grinding roughly against him had his voice raise an octave, and his brain turn to mush. It seemed like the entire world was spinning around him. He threw his head back when Gon gripped his groin and began rubbing it in tantalizing circles.

The alcohol must have surprisingly affected Killua because he didn't realize he was spacing out until he was stripped down to his boxers with a shirtless Gon picking at the bands of his underwear. Things escalated quickly from there. 

Soon, the underwear joined the other discarded clothing on the floor. Killua flushed red with embarrassment and scrambled to cover himself, but Gon was quicker. He grabbed Killua by the wrists and pinned them above his head as his eyes drank in the sight of the naked body beneath him. This was the first time Killua saw Gon blush.

"S-stop staring, you creep!" Killua whacked Gon on the head. "This is so embarrassing." He mumbled near the end.

Gon smiled widely and leaned down once more to kiss along his neck. Warm. So warm

This was weirdly intimate behavior for a one night stand, but Killua couldn't complain. He let out a moan as wet lips trailed from his neck to his collar bone. Killua gasped when he felt Gon's tongue dip down into his naval and lick a trail near his erection. He pushed down the feeling of insecurity when Gon pried open Killua's legs with his big hands. A wet tongue traveled down Killua's shaft, making his mouth fall open in a throaty moan.

He couldn't help but shudder when Gon whispered against his nape. "I like the sounds you make." groaning, "You are so pretty."

If Killua's face wasn't wholly red before, then it was now. His entire body felt weak, completely submissive under Gon. It was a sensory overload. Killua wasn't sure whether to concentrate on the intoxicating scent of Gon, the warmth of his breath fanning his neck, his hard stomach rubbing against his, or the thumb swiping along the rim of soft tissue, twitching at the surging pain of thick fingers entering him. It was manageable until he felt the fingers slip out of him and get replaced with something much bigger.

"Ahh! Gon wait," He pressed his palm flat against Gon's chest and slowly breathed in and out, trying to ease the pain.

Gon's eyes widened as he looked down at Killua. "Are you a virgin? You're really tight." He squinted his eyes.

Killua contemplated whether to tell him the truth or not. "Would that bother you?" He didn't want Gon to leave.

Gon smiled and smothered his cheeks in delicate kisses. "I'll make you feel good, I promise."

That wasn't a response Killua was expecting. Hell, he didn't even know it was possible to get this flustered. After a crap school day, this was what he needed, and best of all, no one besides Gon will ever have to know. Gon is probably too drunk to contain memories anyways.

Gon's groan shivered between them as he slowly began to push and pull in and out of him. The new sensation was weird, but not at all unpleasant. Gon spent a long time with his nose in his neck, and his mouth slack against Killua's bare shoulder. The rhythm started off slow and began to develop speed once a particular thrust aimed at his prostate.

For what seems like the first time, Killua's mind was completely blank. Gon was everywhere. With his arms looped around Gon's neck, he pulled closer until their chests were touching. Killua's mouth spilled unintelligible words, and he felt a constant heat circulate his cheeks. Everything was warm. The bedsheets were warm, and the pillow was warm, Gon was warm. This was nothing like what he was used to, and Killua liked the change. 

Killua's body seized up as he came —Gon soon after. His muscles felt like a spaghetti noodle—too exhausted to lift a single limb. The bed bounced as Gon plopped down next to Killua panting.

"That was good." Gon breathed out.

Killua hummed.

He needed to get home before his family woke up in the morning. He couldn't afford to put himself and Gon in danger by falling asleep in Gon's room and not arriving until noon the next morning. If his family were normal, if he were normal, everything would be okay.

"I have to leave." Killua tiredly worded out.

He felt an arm latch around his waist and pull him against a chest of warmth. "No, you don't." Gon replied with a lazy grin.

"Gon, yes, I do. Let me go!" Killua hissed.

"Goodnight, Killua."

"Ugh, you're so stubborn." Killua huffed out, but Gon was already passed out with Killua stuck to him like some godly superglue. 

Whelp, I guess this is my life now.

His eyelids were heavy. Killua tried desperately to pry them open but, involuntarily, his eyes rolled back. At this rate, staying awake was impossible. Sighing, he snuggled further into Gon for warmth. Killua would solve his problems tomorrow, but for now, he needed to sleep.


	3. Not the Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/ALqOKq0M6ho

Gon was cuddling a very soft and warm stuffed animal; he nuzzled closer to it. The scent was incredibly calming and intoxicating at the same time. It was sweet like chocolate, both welcoming and distant Gon wanted nothing more than to lay here forever. Morning can wait until next year.

Gon's heart stopped. He felt a pulse beneath the soft texture of the stuffed animal.

Wait, it's breathing.

Gon's eyes shot open and frantically looked around to label precisely what he buried his face into. There laid a beautiful boy with whiteish/silverish hair and a light vanilla skin tone in his bed. A small amount of drool dripped down the corners of his mouth as he slept peacefully with his body cuddled close to him.

AND they were naked.

Gon had one night stands with other people before, but never did they stay until morning. Generally, they got up and left after the deed was done. Gon remembered bits and pieces of what occurred the night before, and that left a tingling sensation that crawled up his skin.

Killua.

He watched Killua shuffle under the blankets and squirm uncomfortably, probably from the beam of sunlight shining on his face. He squinted his eyes and mumbled with a sound similar to a groan, "What time is it?"

"Nine in the morning." Gon chirped. He felt his heart swell a bit when Killua opened his clouded blue eyes and carefully watched him. 

Suddenly, Killua jolted upwards and frantically rolled out of bed. "Nine in the morning!?!" Hickies and bruises covered the boy's neck, and his hair was disheveledly sticking out in every direction. He watched him scavenge around the floor for his clothes and abruptly froze when he felt Gon's eyes on him. Killua turned around with a very flustered face. "Don't stare at me, idiot."

"Nothing I haven't seen before." Gon replied with a bemused smirk. Killua's defensive behavior reminded him of an irritated fluffy cat.

His gaze traveled up and down Killua. Everything about him made him feel hot all over. Gon's voice lowered to a deep whisper. "How about we do this again sometime."

"No way. This was a one night stand." Killua deadpanned. He hurriedly buttoned his suit, grabbed his phone, and left Gon's bedroom with a wave.

Gon frowned. He at least wanted to get to know Killua better, but all he could do was watch as Killua rushed out the door. A twinge of guilt twisted in his stomach. He can't do this anymore.

Gon quickly took a shower and walked downstairs for the breakfast his aunt prepared for him.

"Who was that boy that just walked out of here? Did he stay the night?" Gon's Aunt Mito glared at him questioningly.

Gon smiled innocently, "Yep, his name is Killua! He spent the night in my room last night."

"Uh-huh." She continued to eye him suspiciously, but Gon didn't falter from the childish grin on his face. She sighed in defeat, "Just let me know when we're expecting to have company."

"Okay." Gon continued to shove a crapload of food in his mouth happily.

Oh yeah, the audition for the school was today. Gon felt a rush of panic. Crap, he forgot!

To Gon, music was only a hobby, but when you're stuck on a desolated island with wildlife as friends, there isn't much else to do. The only thing his father left behind was a withered old upright grand that occupied the space in the corner of the living room of their old house.

Music was something that came naturally to him.

When Gon was about six years old, his aunt would play classical music in the background while she prepared food in the kitchen. Gon's mind would often drift off and focus on the beautiful melodies that resonated from the old radio box stationed on the kitchen counter. Gon has listened to music many times before—birds chirped throughout the day, whales hummed in the depths of the ocean, and small frogs down by the lake would buzz, but this was different.

Tiny Gon tugged gently at the edge of his aunt's shirt. "Aunt Mito, Where does that sound come from?"

"What sound?"

"The pretty sound that seems to come from this box. How did it get in there?" Gon questioned, his eyes wide with curiosity.

"It's a recording of someone playing the piano." His Aunt Mito replied.

Gon's eyes widened. Unfornutaly, the explanation he received brought more questions than answers. What is a piano? Is it an animal? Where can he find one?

All the questions racked Gon's mind until he couldn't think straight. Nothing made sense. Gon furrowed his eyebrows, "What does a piano look like?"

Aunt Mito smiled, lifted Gon, and sat him down at the bench in front of the wooden box-thing next to the couch. She took off the key she had strung around her neck and carefully unlocked it, uncovering the lid showing a full display of rectangular shapes of black and white. She pressed down on one of the white keys, and a sound erupted from the box.

Gon's eyes enlarged at least three times bigger. That was the pitch a finch would sing on the windowsill during mornings. This "piano" is how a human could make music like nature. Everything made sense now.

Gon buzzed with excitement as he pushed his tiny finger down on each and every key, noticing each distinctive sound every key would make. Gon raced to the kitchen, grabbed the radio, and raced back to plop it down on the piano bench beside him. He listened with determination and began mimicking the sound perfectly on the piano.

Aunt Mito dropped the knife she was cutting with and peaked in the living room with a facial expression that can only be described as astonishment. "Gon, How did...?"

His Grandma was drinking her tea happily as she watched the once-vacant piano ring music as it did years ago. "Your father used to play the piano when he lived here, Gon." Grandma Abe sighed, as though drifting away to the past, caught in a timeless reverie.

That sparked a whole new interest in Gon.

He heard little about his father just from Aunt Mito, rambling how selfish and irresponsible he was. But now, this gave Gon a whole new perspective.

Gon gaped, "Ging played the piano?!"

Grandma Abe nodded before setting her tea down, "Mito would come over to play with Ging, and they would play duets together."

"What is a duet?"

"It's a song where two people play together." Aunt Mito answered.

Gon noticed how her facial expression slightly saddened, so he decided it would be wrong to question any further. For the first time, Gon began to wonder just who his dad was. From what information he could gather, Ging liked nature, music, and gave custody of Gon to his aunt when he was two. Maybe Gon, too, could become a musician just like the people on the radio.

After that, Gon spent less time in the forest, though still visiting his animal friends frequently, and spending more time at the piano. Around a week later, from fiddling around with the instrument, Aunt Mito placed a stack of books on the keyboard and began teaching him bits and pieces of what she knew.

Gon smiled to himself at the memories.

Moving to Padokia brought new experiences that never left Gon bored. He met new people, hiked though the distinctive forests, went mountain bike riding down the nearby mountains, the things to do were endless, and Gon couldn't be happier. However, Gon wanted to do something important, something significant: auditioning for a performing arts school located a few blocks from the family's bar. Each year, students would have to re-audition, and that way, Gon could join as a senior. All he had to do was pass the audition. That way, he would be able to meet others, do things besides boring school stuff, and become a musician like his dad.

Gon looked up from his finished breakfast and gave his aunt a determined glare, "I'm going to audition for the performing arts school."

It wasn't a question, nor a request. It was a declaration.

Aunt Mito stopped scrubbing the dishes, hesitating a short while, before slowly nodding.

A jittery excitement washed over Gon as he scrambled upstairs to get ready. He rushed to button up his suit and yanked a brush through his thick hair.

He heard his aunt yell from downstairs. "Do you need a ride there!"

"No, I'll just take my bike!"

With that, he slid down the railing of the stairs and hopped on his bike.

Gon arrived at the front gates, clothing probably not as neat as when he left the house, but that didn't matter much to him anyway. He took slow but determined steps into the building. Art of all styles decorated the walls. Windows emitted beams of sunlight on a giant stairway that led up to the performance hall. At least two hundred people lined up at the entrance of the recital hall, some of them were audience members; some of them were students probably looking to audition. Once registering and filling out the required sheets of paper. Gon was sent backstage to wait for his turn.

That was when Gon heard applause erupt from the crowd and quiet down, and a powerful sound resonates from the piano on the other side of the curtain. Gon immediately recognized it: Chopin's first ballad. 

Gon tiptoed to the side of the curtain and peaked the tip of his head out to watch the performer.

Gon felt a gasp escape his throat.

There sat Killua on stage. The spotlight focused on him as he moved his fingers across the keyboard. The same suit he wore to the bar the night before, a tuft of white hair sticking up as it did this morning. Killua didn't miss a single note, a single dynamic, nor did he stutter once as he finished the speedy arpeggios.

Gon was awestruck, clenching the curtain with wide eyes. The beautiful music tugged on his heartstrings; he lost track of time. Though, something about Killua's performance bothered him. He seemed lonely, and his playing emphasized it. His fingers danced confidently, but his shoulders were tense, and his back was arched. Typically Gon would've written it off as stage fright, but this was different, deeper.

Shivers ran up Gon's spine as he began the coda. The racing sixths darkened the entire atmosphere. The audiences' attention no longer drifting but focusing everything at Killua, Gon included.

Killua's playing reminded Gon of everything sad, traumatic, or anything along those lines. Rarely was Gon emotional with music, but Killua's performance stirred all contradicting emotions and sorts. One thing was sure, and it was that Killua was amazing.

The audience had must have come to that conclusion as well because once Killua finished, he received a standing ovation. He formally bowed and slowly walked off the stage with his head hung low, only to raise it when peering from behind the curtain, eyes widening once noticing Gon.

Gon raised his hand to wave, but Killua grabbed it and dragged him out of the view of others waiting backstage.

Killua whispered harshly, "Gon, what are you doing here?! Are you stalking me?!"

"Nope, I'm auditioning here as well!" Gon responded cheerfully, completely unfazed by the accusations. 

Killua rubbed a palm against his forehead in frustration, mumbling something under his breath.

Gon's eyes inspected Killua, searching for any hint of the sadness that was present on stage. He decided that this would be the wrong time to ask him about it. He pushed down the urge to hug him right then and there.

"Your playing was amazing!"

Killua's jolted his head up and stared at Gon, a slight blush decorating his cheeks.

Gon smiled and patted Killua on the head once he saw one of the staff frantically signal for Gon to come over. "Well, I have to play now, but I can't wait to see you again."

Gon coincidentally strode over to the piano with a smile stretching wider than the planes of his face. Now, someone as amazing as Killua would be listening to him. He sat on the bench, put his hands in his lap, and closed his eyes. Seconds felt like hours, but all too late, he realized he hasn't chosen what he was going to play. Gon was going to decide that while backstage, but Killua's playing distracted him.

SHIT.

He took a deep breath and decided he would just rely on instinct, whatever came to mind, he would play.

Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2.

With that, Gon began with the fiery passion needed for the piece. The thrill of being on stage transitioned to confidence. Liszt always brought competition to the scene, but it was Gon's job to take that to the next level.

Mysterious melodies turned whimsical. Fingers slid down the keyboard with glissandos. Octaves had his hands jumping top to bottom, and during all of this, Gon couldn't help but think of Killua, Aunt Mito, or even Ging, wondering if any of them were listening.

Gon sighed in relief one playing the final chord, turning to the audience with a victorious smile on his face. He was rewarded with an uproar of applause and joyful cheers. Gon bowed and walked off stage, only to find Killua peeking through the curtain just as Gon did. A bubbly excitement had Gon practically buzzing. He waved at Killua, who blushed and rolled his eyes.

"How'd I do?"

"You did fine or whatever," Killua mumbled.

"Huh?" Gon smirked and leaned closer with a hand to his ear, "What did you say?" Obviously, they both knew Gon heard him.

Killua fluffed out and smacked him on the head. "God, you're so full of yourself! I said you did okay."

Gon barked out a laugh. He knew that teasing Killua would bring him endless enjoyment. He ran to catch up with Killua, who was walking in a huffy puffy manner in the direction of the exit.

"Killluuaaaaaaa wait up!"

When Gon turned the corner, he looked in every direction, but couldn't find Killua. Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm and tug him in the nearby closet. The lights flickered on, and before he could say anything, Killua put a finger to Gon's lips, shushing him.

Gon tried to make out a sentence but failed, "Whaf are youf dofing."

"Eww! you slobbered on me." Killua shrieked and frantically wiped his fingers on Gon's jacket.

Gon stuck his tongue out, but Killua went uncharacteristically silent, and that alarmed Gon.

He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "What's wrong?"

After a long silence, Killua responded without looking Gon in the eye. "My family," a pause, " no one can know what we did."

Gon wore a confused expression, and Killua spit out a harsh whisper, "Do I have to spell it out! We slept together!"

"So?"

"We're both guys!" Killua exclaimed. He let out an exasperated sigh and continued, "Let's just pretend we don't know each other." And with that, Killua left the closet, leaving Gon once again.

Gon couldn't shove the lump of sadness down his throat. Killua wanted nothing to do with him, but maybe, someday, Killua would change his mind.

~*~

Gon walked through the front door with mud on his boots, clothes damp, and hair dripping droplets of rainwater. He slipped off his shoes and took off his jacket. "I'm home."

Aunt Mito peered out from the kitchen, "Welcome home. How'd the audition go?"

Gon grinned and held out a rolled out sheet of paper. "I got accepted!"

"That's great!"

Gon nodded in agreement and walked to his bedroom. There he placed the acceptance paper on the piano and flopped down on the bed.

Killua's scent clung to the bedsheets, reminding Gon of everything they shared. Gon felt like he has known Killua for years, despite knowing each other for hardly twenty-four hours. Killua seemed so confident so happy the night before, but today, Killua looked as though he was suffering. Gon wondered how much of that sadness was caused by him.

No.

Killua mentioned his family a couple of times. It's their fault; they're the ones making Killua sad.

Gon sat alone, staring at the ceiling for at least an hour, probably thinking more than ever has in his lifetime. Maybe, next week, when school starts, he would find out what made Killua sad. No one as beautiful, as amazing, or as kind as Killua deserved this.

Gon tucked his face into his pillow, and slowly, sleep took over.

He may have been with Killua for only a day, but it was sure not to be the last.


	4. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/O2DCu0vNJHM

"Killua Zoldyck assigned with Gon Freecss!"

Great. Sometimes, it seems like the world hates him. Of course, his duet partner for the rest of the year was Gon.

Killua scowled and glanced over in Gon's direction, who was waving at him with a dorky grin on his stupid attractive face.

It was the first day of school, and teachers were organizing their classes accordingly. Senior year, kids were assigned with Biscuit Krueger instructing their masterclass. She was notorious for working her students and polishing them to her standards of perfection before graduating. Since there were only around six kids who get accepted per each grade level, Killua was bound to have uncomfortably high odds with getting Gon as a duet partner. It's not that Killua didn't like Gon, quite the opposite, but in reality, Gon reminded Killua of his mistakes— who he really was.

Ms. Krueger cleared her throat and pointed at a schedule marked on the whiteboard. "By the time you leave the building today, you should've already figured out what duet you and your duet partner will be performing. Challenge yourselves by choosing a duet with two pianos instead of sharing the same keyboard. That way, you can develop a clearer sense of collaborative music." She finished with a snap of her fingers, "Well, get going!"

Killua slumped his arms over his shoulder and dragged himself to the nearest practice room, Gon following close behind him.

Once the door was closed, Gon turned to him with an annoying smirk on his face.

Killua snapped, "What?" He couldn't hold back the aggravation present in his voice.

Gon leaned against the piano with his arms crossed. "Looks like we're going to be seeing each other quite a bit from now on." A hint of challenge that didn't go unnoticed to Killua.

Killua glowered, "You like that, don't you." It wasn't a question. Gon's smirk made that evident.

"Uh-huh!"

Fine! Killua huffed. If the old hag did this to challenge him, then fine!?! Killua can take down whatever goddamn obstacle in his way.

He opened his computer and searched the internet for intricate duets.

Ah, this should be difficult. A cat-like grin appeared on Killua's face. "Let's play the Brahms sonata in f minor, Op 34."

"What! That's hard!" Gon whined.

Killua cocked an eyebrow mischievously, "Oh really? Too hard for Gon the great?" He purred.

Gon scrunched his eyebrows and put on his best thinking face.

Pfft, if he thinks any harder, his brain will explode.

Killua walked out of the room to search the music library at the corner of the piano lab. He pulled out a thick booklet containing the sonata and strode back to the practice room, slapping the music straight in front of Gon's face. "Knowing Bisky, she'll want the duet memorized by the end of next week." He added with a smirk, "Can you memorize that fast?"

"Oh, memorizing isn't a problem. It's just that working with someone else might be hard since I haven't ever done it before." Gon admitted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Whatever, let's just run through the exposition before telling Bisky." Killua sat the music down and adjusted the bench then turned to Gon, declaring, "I'm playing primo."

"No, I want to play primo. Primo is harder."

"Yeah, primo is harder, so I should play it because I'm better. You said it yourself. You haven't done this before."

Once Gon seemed to comply, he breathed a cue to begin. Except, to Killua's absolute aggravation, Gon started playing primo with him and not secondo. This seriously irked him. How stubborn can he be!?!

Killua picked up his sheet music and threw it at Gon.

"Ow, Killua, that hurt."

"Idiot! I told you to play secondo. I'm first piano." Killua flicked him on the head.

Gon started to get genuinely agitated as well and grumbled. "Killua's very stubborn."

"I'm stubborn!?!" Killua exclaimed in exasperation. He tackled Gon off the chair, and they began to wrestle on the practice room floor. Killua would've won if it weren't for Gon's insane strength in his fricken muscular arms.

Killua squirmed under his grasp. A traitorous heat circulated his cheeks. "Get off of me!"

Gon stuck his tongue out, "Not until you agree to play secondo."

"I swear to god I will kick your balls off if you don't get off me," which is what Killua would've done if it weren't for the old hag walking in their practice room. Bisky raised her voice to a ground-shaking volume. "What is going on here?" She questioned, looking legitimately pissed.

Gon quickly released his hold on Killua and got up, brushing himself off. "We were arguing about who plays first piano for the Brahms sonata in f minor." Gon explained, honestly. Lying could've been fatal.

Ms. Krueger put her finger to her chin thoughtfully. "That's a challenging one." She paused for a second before snapping her fingers. "Okay, Gon, you're playing primo; Killua: secondo." With that, she left the room. 

~*~

Seriously, music theory too!?!

There stood his recently assigned duet partner, Gon fricken Freecss, in his music theory class. And, he decided to sit right next to him. Killua sighed in defeat.

The teacher, some guy with sloppy clothing, glasses, and messy hair named Wing, passed out worksheets to test our prior knowledge of the course. Which would have been a piece of cake if it weren't for Gon shaking the table by vigorously scratching his head as if his brain were about to combust.

"Psst, Killua. How do you do this?" Gon whispered.

"It's easy. It's just part-writing."

Gon smiled weakly, "I have no idea what that is..."

Killua rolled his eyes and grabbed Gon's test, filling out the correct answers within a minute. He passed it back to Gon and looked away in embarrassment. Gon was staring at him in awe like he was the next Jesus.

Music theory was always boring. After finishing the tests, Killua pulled out his earbuds, laid his head down on the desk, and listened intently on the duet both boys agreed on. He began to lightly tap his fingers on the desk to the rhythm, closing his eyes as his fingers danced across the imaginary keyboard, and softly humming the melody. He tensed up when he felt Gon take Killua's earbud out and put it in his ear.

Killua hated how his entire body heated up at their close proximity. Gon let out a breath that fanned Killua's face, smiling widely and tapping the rhythm with him. Killua felt a small smile form on his face. Gon's eyes were the color of honey— warm, welcoming, and honest. A raging blush exploded on Killua's face when he realized he was staring. "How about I sneak you in my house after school," then added quickly, "t-to practice the duet, of course."

Killua was amazed at how someone could smile that big.

"That would be great! I'll text Aunt Mito right now."

Killua watched as Gon pulled out his cell phone. He started pondering whether it was the correct choice to let Gon come over. If they failed to sneak around, Killua could mention to his family that it's for school. His family wouldn't disapprove of practicing, but they would probably sit in the room the entire time and intimidate Gon. The last thing Killua wanted was for Gon to witness all his family problems. "We have to be sneaky or else I'm kicking your ass out."

Gon nodded in determination. 

~*~

Killua always hated lunchtime. Not because he didn't like food, he loved food, but because it was a reminder that he wasn't a normal kid. He wasn't allowed to make friends like a normal kid, and his parents insisted he practice during lunch for the reward of success. But this year, lunch was different. It wasn't because it was the first day school, and there was new freshman, and it wasn't because one kid was flopping on the floor, doing "the worm"; it was because this time, there was Gon.

"Hey, Killua, over here!"

Either the entire cafeteria went silent from Gon's shout of his name, or it was Killua's subconsciousness blocking out all sound except Gon's voice. Killua prayed on the latter. Regardless, Killua was frozen in shock as Gon grabbed his hand and dragged him to a table of friends he probably met five minutes ago. Killua decided to eat his sandwich slowly and pretend he belonged there. All the kids kept their distance and decided not to provoke him just as he thought. It stayed that way until Gon turned to Killua and started talking cheerfully about his new experiences of the town.

It felt comfortable by Gon's side. Despite not liking socializing with others, being next to Gon while he talked with uttermost positivity seemed to brighten everything dark; It seemed to warm every cold feeling Killua had. Gon's laughter was infectious, and Killua couldn't hold back a smile around him.

"I got the best duet partner in the world!" Gon declared proudly.

Killua was so embarrassed he could pass out. He slightly jumped when he felt Gon rest his hand on his knee. Killua quickly diverted his gaze to escape attention. He spotted a chocolate bar in Gon's lunchbox.

Bingo!

Killua quickly grabbed the chocolate bar and started munching on it, ignoring Gon's whines of protest.

For the first time, lunch passed by quickly. Killua briefly talked with a sophomore, Zushi, who was in the piano department as well. Apparently, Zushi was here last year as well, but it's not like Killua ever cared to notice anyone. While Gon seemed to attract people like a magnet, people avoided Killua. It was understandable why they would avoid him, but Killua couldn't understand why it was so easy to smile with Gon. Gon's honesty was welcoming, his optimism brightened others, and his confidence encouraged others. But why? Maybe, sticking around him would teach Killua what he is missing.

~*~

Killua lugged his backpack, filled with giant AP textbooks and music books alike, and silently walked along the sidewalk leading to his house. Gon was not-so-silently walking next to him, pointing out everything that seemed to amaze him. Most things were not 'amazing,' such as the blue jay that perched on the side of the curb, but it still had Killua smiling.

Gon made conversation by asking questions, "Killua, how long have you been playing the piano?"

"Since I can remember." That was the simplest response. "How about you? How long have you played?" Killua asked with a touch of lingering curiosity.

"I guess I was six. I haven't had any formal training, though."

This shocked Killua, "You've got to be shitting me."

Except, that reaction boosted Gon's ego by the smirk that appeared on his face. "Do I get my title 'Gon the great back'?"

Killua waved it off, dismissively, "Don't flatter yourself."

Killua's house came into sight, and Gon gasp echoed through the forest. Killua scrambled the cover Gon's mouth with his hand, shushing him.

"Your house is huge!" Gon exclaimed in a volume that you would hardly consider a whisper.

"I know a way to sneak in, but if you expose us, I'm chopping your nuts off, as we mentioned earlier today."

Gon's eyes widened in horror as he nodded slowly.

Killua leads Gon through a hidden gate to the garden he found when exploring as a young kid. He pressed a brick that opened a secret tunnel leading to various areas around the mansion. Turning on his phone light, he ran swiftly but silently through the tunnel.

Gon ran up beside him, "That was so cool!"

Killua smiled to himself, "You've seen nothing yet. Just wait until we reach the ladder to the attic."

Gon gasped in amazement, "It's like a secret base!"

Suddenly, Killua felt like he was twelve again. A jittery excitement had him giggling and eager to show off all the little discoveries he found as a kid.

Killua uncovered the trap door and shook off the dust that clung to his clothing. This was a secluded portion of the attic he found when he was bored and looking for a book to read. The bookshelf ended up being one of those secret doors. A long time ago, one of his family members must have used this room in the attic as a music study. Two nine-foot Steinways sat side-by-side with bookshelves at least six-feet tall filled with sheet music. Old wallpaper tore from the corners of the walls, and the luxurious light flickered from above. Killua sat his backpack down on the fluffy white rug and plopped down on his blue beanbag. "We don't have to worry about making noise. No one can hear this portion of the house." Killua informed to Gon, who was lying like a starfish on the rug.

Gon let out a sigh. "Ah, Let's stay here forever."

"No." Killua jabbed Gon's side. "We came here to practice our duet."

"Oh yeah, 'practice,'" Gon added, signaling quotation marks with his hands. He pulled Killua down, so he was lying on the rug next to him and loomed over him. "Is that all we're going to do?"

Killua lowered his eyes. "Yes." He pushed Gon off of him.

Ignoring Gon's complaints, he grabbed the music out of Gon's bag and shoved it in his face. Killua was already annoyed that Gon got the leading part, despite himself having more formal training. Heck, Gon didn't have any training at all. Not to go without saying, Gon was definitely good at the piano, but the last thing Killua felt like dealing with was a sleeping Gon on the rug in his house when this visit was primarily based on practicing. Killua's parents would have his head if they screwed up their grades, or worse: the recital. Killua visibly shivered, "Gon! If you're playing primo, then you better get your ass to the piano."

Gon jumped up on the neighboring piano bench, fumbling the music on the stand, and turning to Killua with an awkward laugh. "I don't know how to sight-read."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope."

Killua let out a long, drawn-out sigh. Well, if he was going to be Gon's duet partner throughout the year, he might as well teach him some. Knowledge is meant to be shared. "You played Hungarian Rhapsody without knowing how to read notes?"

"I know how to read notes, but I'm just not great at it. Although most of the time, I learn by ear."

Well, that's surprising.

Killua's eyes slightly widened, "You have perfect pitch?"

"I don't know what that is-"

Killua interrupted, "It's like knowing what each pitch is and being able to classify it based off sound alone; It's an uncommon talent. I was the only one out of my siblings to develop it."

A sparkle flashed through Gon's big brown eyes. "Killua's amazing!"

Heat flared up on Killua's face. "Idiot, you probably have it too!"

"I guess, but you know so much about music." Gon finished happily. He put his phone to his ear, probably listening to the recording. "I can read the notes just fine, but sometimes the rhythms are hard. I've never been good at math."

Killua smiles softly. "We can figure it out together" and then added, "since we're duet partners and all."

Gon nodded in affirmation.

Playing with Gon brought a whole new purpose to Killua. Their teamwork was flawless, mostly. And Killua always felt a smile on his face. The feeling was warm and fuzzy. Music had always been important to Killua, maybe not in the same analytic perfectionist sense as his family, but Gon always played with a passion that coated the melodies and softer harmonies with a musicality that moved others. It was as if his fingers were playing with Killua's emotions themselves. All too soon, their practice session was over.

Gon cheered happily, "Let's do this every day!"

Everyday.

Deep down, it was everything Killua wanted.

"This room is a secret to the rest of my family." Killua put a finger to his lips. "We're going to have to rehearse daily." I want this every day. "Playing here is fine, but we should try our best to keep this area hidden." I want you to want this too. 

Gon lifted his pinky and stared at Killua expectantly. Alas, Killua didn't have the slightest idea of what he was doing. Gon raised his hand and intertwined his pinky with Killua's. "...and sealed with a kiss."

"No." Killua whacked Gon on the head. "That's weird."

Killua ignored Gon's fruitless pouts as he began to pack up his things. He began to wonder if this was what friendship was. It was a topic that reached further than his grasp, yet close enough to brush with his fingers. It felt so natural to smile with Gon, to laugh with him, to be normal with him.

Gon poked with head out from the trap door, smiling, "See you tomorrow!"

Heat blossomed on his face, "Yeah, whatever."

After watching Gon descend the ladder, Killua sat back down at the Steinway. His fingers dusted the keys like a feather landing on an undisturbed puddle of water; his brain was subconsciously scrolling through all the new experiences of today. Killua looked up at the sheet music scattered across the piano. This duet brought a whole new meaning of music to him. It wasn't for his family; It was for Gon and Killua to make their own. Fabricating music together, and it was Killua's job assist Gon towards his dream, creating discoveries along the way.

Unlike all the other times, Killua sat down to practice, this time, it was for himself—it was for Gon.


	5. To Make You Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/sSadYZ16bOA

"Gon, you have to follow what the composer is telling you to do!"

"But that doesn't sound natural!" Gon argued. Killua is always so strict to the music. He was probably right, but Gon wasn't going to give up that easily. Currently, they were practicing together during the tenth period— the only class Gon had with Killua. He didn't see Killua at lunch either, but Killua was too grumpy to question right now.

Killua huffed, "If we're going to play this together, we're going to have to reach some form of agreement. We have to do what the composer writes in, but we can make adjustments between the written in dynamics..."

Gon stopped listening. Things were getting too complicated. "Since I'm playing primo, doesn't it make sense for you just to follow what I do?"

That earned Gon a painful flick to the forehead, "I'm not following someone who doesn't know what they're doing!"

Once again, Killua flicked him on the forehead. In return, Gon jabbed him in the side. From there, things escalated from painless hits to tacking each other to the floor and a repeat of Gon pinning Killua down.

Killua hissed, "How the hell are you so strong?!"

The sound of the practice room door slamming open had them both jolt up in surprise.

Bisky emerged with a roar, "This is the second time I walked in here to witness you boys fighting! Do you want me to tell your parents that you haven't been using your time seriously to practice."

It didn't go unnoticed to Gon how Killua visibly tensed up and wore a facial expression that could only be described as absolute fear. Something about Killua's family wasn't right. They did something cruel to him. Of course, it wasn't Gon's business to change another family's sense of morality, yet seeing Killua suffer time and time again thoroughly bothered him. Gon stepped up, "Ms. Kreuger, it was my fault."

Bisky grumbled, "I know this is both of your first times doing a duet at this school, so please try and make it worthwhile." and with that, she left the room.

Gon turned to Killua, "This is your first time doing a duet?"

He seemed so experienced.

"No one was anywhere close to my level the years before." Killua glanced over at Gon with an eyebrow raised, "It's nothing that unusual."

Gon brightened up, "So I'm your first duet partner?" He cheered excitedly.

"Yeah, and its also the first time I'm playing secondo, so you better do this right."

Gon sweatdropped. He's still going on about that?

His attention diverted to the ground-shaking storm that took place outside. Whale Island had rainstorms, but never this bad. Pouring rain began flooding the streets, and lightning cracked the sky. It was so dark outside that it looked like midnight instead of mid-afternoon.

Killua walked up to the window beside him. "All my books are going to get wet."

Gon frowned, "You don't have an umbrella?"

Killua shrugged, "My backpack is packed with too many books to have room to carry stuff like that."

Why does Killua have to carry all of those? His backpack looked as though he was carrying every textbook the school offered.

The shrill sound of the bell ended their practice session.

Killua packed up his things. "You coming over to practice today? We need some improvement before Bisky checks on our progress."

Gon nodded and followed Killua out the door. The halls of the school were never quiet. Vocalists would sing angelically down the halls, writers always had a stack of books in their hands, musicians carried their instruments, and the theater kids were always doing something boisterous. The school always had an energy that made a smile form on Gon's face.

Once arriving at the front door, Gon took out his umbrella. "It's small, but we can share it until we reach your house."

A bright blush dusted Killua's cheeks. "What! No, that's embarrassing."

Gon leaned closer with a smirk. "Would you rather show the entire masterclass a bunch of crinkled sheet music that smells like rainwater."

Killua seemed to think hard on that before mumbling, "Fine." His cheeks remained the color of roses as Gon slid right beside him with the black umbrella.

The walk was silent, but not awkward by any means. If anything, Gon would describe it as wholesome. An unfamiliar warmth rushed through his body when Killua's shoulder would brush against his own every so often. Gon would smile whenever he would glance over to find a soft expression on Killua's face as the rain gently trickled down the edges of the umbrella. He felt a type of connection to Killua that he never felt with anyone else. Killua was special.

They traveled through the garden, opened the door covered in vines and flowers, shone their phone lights in the darkened hallways of the tunnels, and climbed up the ladder behind the bookcase. Gon could immediately relax in this room. A room that only Gon and Killua shared. Gon walked over to the piano on the right and began unpacking his sheet music.

"I have to go."

A silence.

Gon looked at Killua in confusion, "What? but we have to practice."

Something unreadable to Gon was present in Killua's sapphire blue eyes. "I'll be back sometime tonight for sure, but I'm not sure when. I'm sorry."

Gon watched Killua leave. Just then, Killua looked so sad—so afraid, but Gon respected Killua's privacy and chose to practice his part until Killua returned. 

~*~

Seconds turned into minutes—minutes turned into hours; Killua had yet to return. A dreaded shiver crawled down Gon's spine. Something wasn't right.

Thunder and the pouring rain was the only sound that echoed through the room—a room that felt empty—dark without Killua's presence. Killua had probably expected Gon to leave, but something in Gon made him stay. Maybe it was curiosity or maybe it anxiety. Regardless, Killua's sudden disappearance was far from normal behavior.

A round mosaic window stood in the center of the wall. A lone moon beamed through— bright and intimidating. Gon looked at the trapdoor expectantly when he heard the ladder creak like someone was climbing up it.

Killua's ruffled head of white hair peeked over. A wave of excitement washed over Gon; it crushed when he noticed Killua's empty expression on his face. Bruises covered his flesh tone, blood oozing out of large scrapes on his arms.

Gon couldn't find his voice. "What...happened?"

Killua coughed and walked over to the piano bench, sitting down with a plop. "Family crap." and that was all Killua said for the next thirty minutes of their practicing.

Gon's throat felt on the verge of closing shut throughout the entire session. A practice session never felt this slow, this dark, or this forced. Disturbing. That was the one word Gon chose to label it. Finally, both boys got through the development of the sonata without errors.

Rain pounded against the roof, and Killua sighed. "The rain isn't going to lighten up. You can spend the night here, but you have to stay in this room. I can keep you company for a bit, but I'm not sure I can get away with sleeping up here with you."

"It's fine. I'll text my Aunt." I need to know if you're okay. "I have a ton of math homework to do that will probably take hours. " I need to know if you're happy.

Killua nodded. He seemed to cheer up a bit, but not quite the same as the jittery excitement he had the first day Gon came over to practice. They had small conversations; that was it. Something serious must've happened, and for the first of many times to come, Gon was afraid to ask—afraid to know the answer.

"DANMIT, math sucks!" Gon flopped on the rug; his body spread out like a star.

Killua looked up from his phone, "Do you need any help?"

"It's pre-calc."

Killua waved his hand, dismissively, "I completed the course freshman year." He sat up and sat beside Gon. "Lemme take a look."

Killua tutored Gon and wrote out the particularly tricky equations. Killua wouldn't even have to think—just glance at the equation, and it's like he already knew the answer. His intelligence was just one of Killua's strengths. "Killua's amazing!"

And just like that, Killua was back to his embarrassed, flustered self. That made Gon smile. He succeeded in giving Killua an emotion besides pain and suffering.

"Is there any way I could take a shower?" Gon picked at his smelly, damp shirt.

Killua shared a thoughtful look, "I could sneak you in my bathroom next to my bedroom, but don't do anything weird."

~*~

Gon sat under the warm water streaming down his body. Gon has never been one to think deeply before doing, but right now was different. He would often forget how he and Killua first met. That night happened before he got to know Killua; everything is different now. Killua was more confident then, but now, he would overthink every action—every word, always worried about saying or doing the wrong.

Gon climbed up the ladder but stopped when hearing a soft—lonely melody.

Chopin Nocturne Op. 72.

This was Killua playing for himself and not for a teacher, a critical audience, nor his family. Gon remembered when he played the Chopin ballad on stage. While the performance was beautiful, it wasn't nearly as compassionate nor heartbreaking. Knowing Killua for a few days, Gon realized how closed off Killua was of his feelings, yet they burst open when fabricating music. A victim to everything cruel in this unjust society—that's what Killua's playing was telling him. Just listening to it made Gon want to cry, empathizing with the emotion of helplessness and grief. All sound stopped when Gon opened the door.

Killua sat at the Steinway, the only light in the devouring darkness was a small lantern stationed next to the music stand. Killua's eyes were wide, beautiful. Small scabs formed on his arms while hands brushed silently off the keys of black and white.

They shared a silent gaze of understanding.

He slowly walked towards him, leaning in until Gon could hear the faint sound of Killua's soft rhythmic breathing. "Why...is everything you play so lonely?"

Gon didn't have to ask—he knew.

Gon's gaze locked with Killua's emotion-filled eyes. Their voices were hushed to a whisper. Killua's thick black eyelashes fluttered as Gon looked at Killua's soft lips. Killua let out a sigh.

No, now's not the time.

Gon walked over and sat down on the soft blankets. He watched Killua turn back to the piano and play with his heart's content. This time, the sound wasn't lonely, but an underlying sadness remained. Gon couldn't help but focus intently on Killua's moving figure. Like the ocean waves gravitating towards the moon, Gon's was lost in a desirable pull to Killua, his heart trying to grasp something unobtainable.

For hours, He watched Killua play until he stopped and laid beside him. Gon turned so his side was facing Killua and tucked him into the soft blankets Killua must've set up while Gon was in the shower.

"I'm not a kid, you know." Killua's harmonious voice whispered delicately.

Gon shared a soft smile and whispered: "I know."

Killua closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Moonlight slit through the small mosaic window, and the thunder eased up to a soft rumble. Killua's soft white hair glowed in the moonlight; Gon gently stroked it, curling it with his fingertips. How could someone so beautiful yet so sad exist? Gon never failed to notice how all the girls looked at him, but he never cared until now. He snuggled closer to inhale the familiar sweet, thick, intoxicating scent and resisted the intense urge to pull Killua close and let his hands roam his body.

Gon resisted. Right now, he needed to sleep. Nothing more. 

~*~

A nudge, "Gon!" a jab, "We're late for school!"

Gon groaned and rolled over. He heard Killua grumbling, "Sometimes I wonder why I even try." A kick knocked the air out of Gon's lungs. He awoke with a jolt, panicking, "I'm up!"

"It's about time. We probably missed first period." Killua tossed him a sandwich.

"It's still raining!?!" Gon's shout echoed the room.

"Welcome to Padokia."

Killua jumped down the ladder and called out, "The last one to school buys lunch."

Gon always loved a good challenge but seeing Killua smile with his hair whisking in the wind as he ran playfully made it all the better. Laughter rang as puddles splashed. They reached the front door, and Killua cried out victoriously, "I won."

"No fair! I slipped in a puddle."

Killua giggled, "It's not my fault you're clumsy."

Gon didn't have anything to say in return. His entire visit with Killua tipped him off-kilter by his tiny mannerisms, but something has been eating at the back of Gon's mind. "What if the faculty notifies your parents that you were late?" He spoke in a quieter voice, "Weren't they the ones that hurt you?"

"It's fine."

"But-"

"Gon, if I say it's okay, that means I can bear it."

Gon wasn't satisfied with that answer, but he knew Killua wasn't one to be persuaded easily. For now, Gon wouldn't do anything.

Killua disappeared behind the entrance doors of the school.

Gon had never been late to school before. It was somewhat exciting, but the excitement dwindled to fear as he remembered he was late to Mr. Morow's class. Gon served as the accompanist to the theater kids with Hisoka Morow as the director. He'd heard a fair share of rumors of the sinister director, but the way Hisoka licked his lips and slowly walked to Gon confirmed all suspicions. He must've been a fantastic actor because the bloodlust had chills running down any living thing within the premises of the black box theater.

Gon put his hands together and bowed apologetically, "I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Morow! I slept in."

Hisoka hummed and licked his lips, "Such an honest boy."

Gon shivered on the spot. Accompanying theater kids were reasonably easy—the most challenging part was to satisfy Hisoka's standards of performance. Still, the kids themselves knew how to sight-sing with contrast and fullest precision.

"Can you play this so I can record it?" A pretty girl spoke up. She had porcelain skin like Killua and curly blonde hair that reached the small of her back. Her clothing was of a doll. Frilly, unblemished, and beautiful.

"Sure!"

After a few recordings, they spent the rest of the period speaking of little things. Gon learned that Retz was a vocalist who is taking some theater classes to help with her onstage expression when singing. He also learned her parents died when she was younger, and her brother took over custody. It was like everyone Gon met had a sad story—a saddened family.

"Aren't you duet partners with Zoldyck?"

Gon grinned, "Yeah, isn't it amazing!" but his smile drooped when Retz wore a disheartened look on her face, "What's wrong?"

"We just have some history."

The bell rang before Gon could get Retz to elaborate. 

~*~

Gon was unable to find Killua during lunch.

"Hey, Gon over here!" Knuckle called out.

Gon shook his head, "I'm going to look for Killua." Last time Killua left, he returned with numerous scratches, cuts, and wounds. From now on, Gon would never leave Killua alone again if there was an option to be with him.

Students' laughter rang through the halls on all floors, but Killua was nowhere to be found. Finally, Gon reached the fifth floor, and the only sound to be heard was of a violin and a piano playing perfectly in sync. Gon poked his head around the corner to see Killua and a girl playing the violin. She had cat-like eyes like Killua and sharp black hair. Her kimono looked expensive, with flowers embroidered on the edges.

Killua stopped playing when noticing Gon. "It sounds good enough. I need to practice other things."

The girl looked at Killua with a questioning glance, "but brother, the concert is tomorrow."

Brother? So that's one of Killua's siblings.

"I'm done practicing." Killua, finalized.

The girl walked out of the room while sending Gon a suspicious glare.

Once the coast was clear, Gon walked up beside Killua and leaned over the music stand. "You guys are siblings?"

"Yeah. That was my youngest brother, Kalluto."

That was a boy? Killua did have some feminine features, but his youngest brother totally looked like a girl.

A cat-like grin appeared on Killua's face. "So...Are you going to buy me lunch?"

Gon smiled to himself. "How about I buy you something after school instead."

Killua put a thoughtful finger to his chin, "I know there's an ice-cream parlor nearby."

"Ice-cream, it is!"

"Okay, but we do need to practice."

"Aww, but it's our break time. Why not just have fun?"

Killua's face morphed into an agitated smile. "Remember the music festival? The recital?" Killua began ruthlessly jabbing Gon on the forehead. "The one in three days?!"

Oh, crap. I thought it was next week.

Killua sighed, "You forgot. Didn't you?"

"Heh..."

With that, they spent the rest of the time practicing.

~*~

Gon doesn't think he'd ever seen someone like sweets as much as Killua. He pouted at his moneyless wallet after Killua ordered six scoops of ice-cream with a chocolate cone and plenty of sugary toppings, but seeing Killua smile and completely concentrate on the desert like a little kid made it all worth it.

In a way, Gon felt as if experiences like this made up for the sadness Killua felt ever so often. He knew his family hurt him even though Gon had only met Killua and Kalluto. How many siblings does he have? He mentioned Kalluto to be his youngest brother, so he must have another one. Killua also said that his family expects a lot from him. Is that why he showed up last night with scathed arms and blemished skin?

Killua looked up and pointed to Gon's untouched chocolate milkshake, "Are you going to finish that?"

Gon studied Killua more closely. "You can have it." Anything to keep you here.

Killua stopped eating his ice-cream and glared at Gon, "Stop staring at me weirdly."

"Spend the night with me."

Killua choked, and a bright blush engulfed his face. "W-what!?!"

Oh, wait. He thought the other thing. Oops. "I meant like a sleepover...nothing more." Gon presented his innocent grin, "It'll be fun!"

Killua suspiciously glared at Gon, "Uh-huh...I guess I could try and sneak out, but my oldest brother checks on me at least twice in the afternoon, so I have to be back before then." Killua got up and brushed down his crinkled shirt, "I'll see you then." 

~*~

Gon opened the front doors of the bar and calling out, "Aunt Mito, Killua's coming to spend the night!"

"Okay, but you have to tend the bar until he arrives while I prepare dinner."

Gon huffed, tending the bar was boring during weeknights. There were only a few devoted costumers that would come on Wednesdays. Friday nights were when things got exciting. Live music would play attracting new people, and it felt alive. Sometimes, Gon was able to get away from working and socialize a bit and sometimes more— just like the night when he met Killua.

That was the first time Gon had slept with a guy. A few times before, Gon had slept with girls, but he never had a preference, nor did he care to think about the past. Heck, he would often forget that night happened with Killua. Zepile, an avid customer who would sometimes come to play the saxophone on weekends, mentioned how that what made him unique, but it just made sense to Gon. Why would someone's personality or actions in the past matter if it didn't apply to the present?

"Hey, Gon!"

Gon glanced up from wiping down wine glasses with a rag to see Leorio waving at him.

Leorio sat down at the barstool, "I'll order a Budlight. Hey, I'm happy to hear you applied for the school I was talking about. Man, I wouldn't have been able to afford med school for a semester without a scholarship with the help from that place. How is it so far?"

Gon passed the beer across the counter, "It's great! I never thought I would actually like going to school every day."

Leorio laughed, "And how about Friday night when you had your hands all over that fancy boy?"

"Oh, you saw that." Gon awkwardly laughed, "Funny story... He's my duet partner."

Leorio spits out his beer and cackles.

Gon rolled his eyes and went back to washing the glasses, "Didn't you start dating your duet partner?"

"It is kind of off and on. So... what's his name?"

"Killua."

"No way! The Zoldyck?"

Gon tilted his head in confusion, "Yeah, why?"

"That family is crazy! All of them are like well-known classical musicians. They're crazy rich too." Leorio mumbled near the end.

Gon shrugged, but the news concerned him. He never wanted to question Killua about why he's so afraid of his family—fearful of them finding Gon, afraid of portraying his true self. That put Gon deep in thought for the next few hours.

The bell on the door rang as a familiar head of white hair walked in.

"Killua!"

"Gon." Killua smiled and ran up to the barstool next to Leorio. He glanced over at Leorio, "Oh, hello, old man."

"I'm not an old man!!!" 

Gon sweatdropped, Killua was known for being disrespectful to adults and sometimes other girls—often calling Bisky 'old hag' and getting punched in the gut in return. Gon slowly pushed Killua away from the angry Leorio and towards the employees only door that led to their living area.

Aunt Mito stepped from the hallway, "You must be Killua."

A surprised expression molded Killua's face, "Gon mentioned me?"

"Yes, he was very excited to have his first friend over."

Killua glanced over to Gon with wide eyes.

Aunt Mito cleared her throat, "Gon, can you set up the dinner table?"

"Aw, but Killua just got here."

Aunt Mito raised her fingers, signaling she was going to count to three. Despite being nearly an adult, Aunt Mito was scary if she ever got to the number three. Gon was smart enough to avoid her wrath after once deliberately witnessing it when he was a small child. Gon shivered at the memory and left to go set up the table. Aunt Mito probably just wanted to talk to Killua alone, and that partly worried Gon. She tended to be overprotective of him, but he was afraid she would say something to make Killua go away.

A vast feast covered the dining table. Grandma Abe was drinking her tea at the center of the table. Delicious side courses circle the rosemary chicken that stood in the center of the display.

Killua reappeared with a cheerful glint in his eyes. "Wow, this looks great!"

"Aunt Mito makes the best food in the entire world!"

Killua sat down and picked up a fork, stabbing it in the chicken and stealing a chunk of meat, "I guess I should check to make sure it's safe to eat."

"Killuaaa," Gon leaned across the table to take the fork away from Killua, "We're supposed to wait and say grace."

Alas, Killua won the game of tug of war, shoving the yummy food into his mouth.

Mito yelled from the kitchen, "Boys! Use proper etiquette. Gon, I thought I taught you better than that in front of our guests."

Gon shot a glare at Killua, who playfully stuck his tongue out and sat down professionally—like he had nothing to do with the banter. That's mean!

Despite Killua being a butt in the beginning, this was the best dinner Gon ever had, and it was because Killua was there. It was a new experience—like a new adventure, and he looked forward to it happening in the future. Gon felt jittery of excitement, wanting to show off every little thing he could to Killua within the timespan of the night. After dinner, Gon led Killua up to the roof.

Stargazing was one of the many things Gon loved to do. Generally, Gon liked things with a lot of action: sports, upbeat music, exploring, etc., but stargazing was different. It was peaceful, and while it wasn't a physically active activity, it sure kept the imagination functioning.

Both boys laid side by side. A soft breeze tugged gently at the small hairs and loose clothing. Killua pointed to a cluster of stars directly above them, "That one looks like a dick with three balls."

Gon sweatdropped. Imagination can come in all different ways. Gon tries reassuring himself. "I was thinking more like a bass clarinet."

"Pfft, I like mine better."

Gon laughed. He would treasure these moments with Killua forever. His presence brought endless happiness and fun no matter what they were doing.

Killua sat up and dusted his clothing off, "We should probably get to sleep. I have a concert tomorrow."

"Do you want to sleep in my bed with me instead of the uncomfortable sleeping bag?"

Killua's face flushed up a bit, "U-uh sure."

Gon jumped through the window back into his room— Killua right behind him. He watched as Killua timidly dressed into his sleepwear.

Gon frowned. Killua had scars of all shapes and sizes coating his back, tearing through the beautiful vanilla skin. Gon knew what caused them, and he also understood that the last thing Killua wanted being for Gon to pity him. Killua was strong, and Gon knew that.

Gon laid under the covers, waiting for Killua to snuggle in.

Killua mumbled and faced away from Gon, "This is so embarrassing."

Gon smirked and put his arm around Killua's perfectly curved waist. "Is sleeping with 'Gon the Great' that embarrassing?"

Killua huffed.

Gon took the moment to observe with the close proximity as the advantage. Everything about Killua was glowing. His white hair splayed out on his pillow, contrasting with the dark sheets, his pale skin blushed pink around the sharp edges of his body, and Gon could feel the firmness of his abs beneath his limp arm over Killua's waist. Gon interrupted the silence, "Were you a virgin before I fucked you?"

Gon felt Killua's entire frame tense as he quickly shifted to face Gon with a mortified expression, "Gon! What the fuck!?!"

"I'm just curious." Gon defended.

"Well, screw your curiosity!"

"So was that a yes?"

"Gon, I will suffocate you with your own pillow if you keep bringing this up."

Gon pleaded, "Killuuaaa-"

Killua ignored him.

Gon's hand snaked under Killua's shirt, and Killua squirmed out of Gon's reach. He hissed, "Stop that! Now's not the time!"

"But Killuaaa, when is the time?"

"I already told you we can't do that anymore. That was a one-night stand—nothing more."

Gon pouted. Killua didn't want that right now, and Gon could respect that, but it didn't go unnoticed to Gon how Killua's body would subconsciously lean into his touch—his hold. Gon felt a greedy satisfaction with that.

Gon snuggled closer to Killua, who probably gave up with trying to distance himself from Gon. To him, times like this, being so close to Killua, he loved the most; he felt the most connection—his scent, his warmth, everything. This feels right.

Slowly, Gon lulled to sleep with Killua in his arms.


	6. It's Just the Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/MBOa-2b4uQQ

Gon is weird. His morality is strange, yet Killua would often find himself admiring it. Gon never cared what was right or wrong if it benefitted him. Selfish, but it worked in Killua's favor. Gon didn't listen to rumors, and he acted on intuition; he was welcoming. Gon is a good person. Characteristics such as selfishness and goodness weren't precisely something Killua thought would ever intertwine; Gon succeeded. He was kind towards others, and if a person has done wrong deeds that didn't affect him, he didn't mind. He would give them a second chance as balanced equals. Gon influenced his own decisions—he was his own individual.

I guess the question is: Does Killua deserve to have someone like Gon by his side? Did he deserve to have Gon as a friend? Thoughts such as these often plagued Killua's mind, especially if he were alone at times like this.

Killua squirmed under Gon's hold. Hummingbirds buzzed by the window where morning light seeped in. He felt safe here in Gon's bed—with Gon asleep next to him, holding him in a place like he was worried Killua might disappear. Feeling Gon's rhythmic heartbeat, feeling warmth under the calloused hand on his stomach, hearing the soft snuffles Gon would breathe out in his sleep—Killua never wanted to leave this position. Ever.

He often wondered if this codependency was healthy. Was it healthy for Gon? Did Gon honestly understand him? Killua's questions were hardly ever answered. The penalty for thinking things through.

Killua felt Gon shift beside him, "Killua, Goodmorning." Gon's voice was hoarse.

It was only one phrase. A phrase people often exchanged between one another, yet from Gon, it made him feel fuzzy inside, and he couldn't keep the involuntary smile from forming on his face. "Goodmorning, Gon."

Gon crawled over Killua and began undressing to get ready for school.

Again, another ordinary action that everyone does each and every day, yet the sensation of want pooled deep in his gut. Gon must've exercised daily. That or he had a naturally strong build. Either way, Killua couldn't tear his eyes away from Gon's back and shoulder muscles, twitching ever so subtly as he scavenged the room for a shirt. Killua so vividly remembers sinking his fingers into those shoulder blades— feeling Gon's hard stomach collide with his own. Killua shivered, No. I shouldn't be thinking of things like that.

Killua threw the bedsheets off of him. Getting ready would've much easier if his dick understood that he wasn't in the position to fuck right now. Screw being a teenager. And screw Gon, who obviously noticed but pretended not to. "Stop staring!" This is so embarrassing.

Gon jumped as if he was just accused of murder, "What was I doing?"

Killua grumbled and walked to the bathroom. A new toothbrush that hasn't even been removed from the box was lying on the counter beside Gons. A simple deed—an act of kindness that shouldn't have made Killua hesitate and his heart pound against his chest.

He huffed, these feelings were unhealthy and something he needs to get rid of for both Gon's sake and his own.

~*~

Time flew by, and Saturday rolled around the corner. The day of their recital. Something that Killua was unable to label caused his stomach to feel heavy—the thrill of excitement mixed in with nervous anxiety. His oldest brother taught him that playing too much before the performance would worsen the outcome, yet he never wandered more than ten feet away from the piano. It's like his subconsciousness put an imaginary leash to the leg of the piano bench.

He picked up his phone once he heard it ringing.

Gon's voice echoed the room. "Killua!"

Killua's face heated at the sound of Gon's voice so close to his ear. "Idiot, you shouldn't yell through the phone because someone's ear is close to it."

"Sorry," Killua could imagine Gon sticking his tongue out from witnessing Gon's playful apologies countless times before. "I tried to get ahold of you for a really long time now."

Killua rolled his eyes, "It has been two minutes, moron."

"That's mean! Anyways, I wanted to know what you are wearing so we could match."

That shouldn't have made Killua's heart pound, but it did. "Just wear a normal suit as you did for the audition. Nothing weird, just the color black."

"But that's boring."

Killua huffed, "You're so childish. I'm not walking out on stage with you if you're wearing bright colors that makes you look like a peacock."

Gon hesitated over the phone, "How about we wear the same color ties." Killua heard a snap of the fingers, "I know! We should wear blue ties. I like green, but Killua looks good in blue."

Heat circulated Killua's cheeks. Thank god Gon wasn't here to see it. Gon's behavior was often found predictable to Killua, but his embarrassing remarks always caught him off guard no matter what. Killua whispered softly, "Okay."

He heard Gon make a sound of affirmation then hung up.

Killua stared at the phone for a short while. Despite the radical rhythm of his heart slamming against his ribcage, Gon calmed Killua's nervousness of the recital, leaving only excitement for what's to come.

He jolted at the suddenness of the door booming open.

"Kil, hurry up! Momma is waiting for you!" Milluki, his second oldest brother, yelled.

"Whatever piggy, I'll be out when I'm ready!"Out of all his siblings, Milluki had to be the most useless—the most annoying of them all.

Each of his siblings played an instrument to contribute to the family. Killua's oldest brother, Illumi, played piano. Milluki played the viola, and Kalluto played the violin. His parents were both in the music field. Killua's mom played the violin as a duet partner for Killua's dad, who played the piano. It was a marriage for the business. Everything was always for the business.

Killua adjusted his tie and headed downstairs. The butlers waited in utter-most formality, never faltering. Every one of them acted emotionless, but all of them carried more emotion than big brother Il. Killua situated himself in an expensive vehicle.

The majority of the time, Killua was able to convince his parents that he preferred to walk to school. Other students already sought Killua as a spoiled snob, and driving to school in a car similar to limbo definitely didn't help. Gon didn't care about the opinions of others, so why did Killua? Once again, Killua found himself admiring Gon's morality. Individualism. Some people classify personalities is multiple consensuses: The way people view you, the way you view yourself, and the somewhat of an equilibrium between the two. He and Gon were polar opposites in that form. Killua began to realize because Gon only cared about the way he viewed himself, others began to view him in the same way, creating that balanced equilibrium.

As always, small questions led to the bigger ones. What even is Killua's purpose in this world? His parents gave him a purpose, but it wasn't one he wanted to fulfill. There is something he wants. Maybe desires would lead Killua to a satisfactory goal.

Killua mindlessly looked out the dimmed window at the trees blurring in the distance. It wasn't often that the entire family situated in one car. Each member was in formal wear, ready for the biggest recital the school had to offer: The Music Festival.

It was held once a year near the beginning of the school year. This was the one time all musicians throughout the school would perform. All departments and all instruments the school had to offer.

Killua's mom cleared her throat, "Kil, you should have worn black and white. Any other colors lose formality on stage."

Killua rolled his eyes. "No one will even notice. It's just a stupid tie."

Of course, that response created a rising conflict within the shared space. The moment the car pulled into the V.I.P. section of the parkway, Killua hopped out of the car himself and slammed the door. Even if they only rode together a few times a year, it was still one too many.

As he was stomping towards the steps entering the building when Gon appeared, jumping off his bike with hair sticking out in every direction, but it's normal upwards. Killua could already begin to feel himself smile, "Your hair makes you look like a hedgehog."

Gon poofed out his cheeks but walked over to Killua anyways.

Killua stepped forward, maybe too close, and started fixing Gon's hair with his fingers. He was worried Gon would hear his heartbeat—how fast it was thumping as he sunk his fingers into Gon's thick locks. Killua's hands found their way to Gon's hair before, but only once. During that night.

Gon had a content smile on his face. "We're matching."

"Well, yeah. You're the one who decided that, dummy." A pause of contentment. Killua broke it with a complaint that lacked the essence of annoyance, "How did your hair even get this way?"

"Well," Gon laughed awkwardly, "I was riding my bike, and then I accidentally hit my head on a branch."

Killua let out a hysterical wheeze.

"Hey, don't laugh. It hurt." But Gon was smiling too.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them. Killua's father, mother, and Kalluto stood side-by-side.

Crap. It was the moment Killua feared. He hasn't told his family that he was assigned a duet partner this year. They never asked, probably thinking no one could measure up to Killua's skill level, but they were mistaken, and now they would find that out for themselves.

His mother spoke up with an uncharacteristic greeting smile, "We are Killua's parents. Who are you?"

"I'm Gon Freecss. Killua and I are duet partners," answered Gon bluntly.

Killua wasn't sure how to feel about this encounter—relieved or terrified?

Both.

Killua's mother spoke up, "Kil, can I talk to you alone?"

He turned to Gon, "Meet me backstage thirty minutes before we're on."

Gon nodded and disappeared into the crowd.

A hand collided to Killua's face. A stinging feeling was rising to the surface of his cheek. His mother wore a furious expression, "How could you not tell us something as important as this! Unbelievable!" Another hit to the face, "You didn't even perform the duet in front of us, your family!" Her screaming caught the attention of others, who moved away quickly, desperately trying not to get involved.

Killua's father placed a strong arm on his mother's shoulder, "Kikyo, enough,"

"Are you crazy! Killua-"

"Woman, shut your damn mouth!"

Killua watched, unfazed. This was normal for him, but that didn't make him happy. He turned to walk in the front doors of the building. Watchful eyes lingered as the halls were uncharacteristically silent. Killua was used to these stares—pity, guilt, intimidation, and hostility.

Whatever.

Killua opened the backstage door. He had yet to find another room as dark as this one. It was like a black hole—destroying any potential reflection of light. Killua slid his fingers along the railing ingrained to the dusty walls.

"Gon?" his voice echoed.

Suddenly, two hands gripped his shoulders, and someone's dim phone light flickered on. "Did I scare you?" Gon's stupid face came into vision.

"Asshole, don't do that!"

Gon barked out a laugh, and Killua began to feel a similar sensation bubble in his chest.

"You know, it isn't polite to scare people before a performance."

Gon laughed harder, "Y-you should've seen your face!"

This must be revenge for all the tricks and pranks Killua pulled in the past.

The giggles eventually died down, leaving them with a content silence. Killua sat with his back against the wall adjacent to Gon, who was sitting in a similar position. The only light among the enveloping darkness was Gon's lonesome phone light. It emitted just enough light for Killua to see the highlights of Gon's face—his pointed nose, his always grinning smile, and his humongous eyes.

Killua sighed, "My family is going to want us to have lessons with them from now on. I kept you a secret, but there isn't much I can do now." he paused for a short while, "My family aren't...nice people. Lessons are going to be far from fun."

Gon held a hard gaze. Killua knew he understood, but he had to warn him regardless.

Gon shuffled a bit closer, hesitantly grabbing Killua's wrists. He shivered as Gon outlined his scabs with fingers of ghost-like touches. He whispered, "And they did this?"

"It's no big deal. I'm used to it," said Killua.

Used to the external pain, but never the internal.

Killua had received a text that night from his oldest brother. Something about a horrid grade that had been input from Bisky's class. Killua guessed it was from him and Gon's fantastical fighting display that took place in the practice room that evening. Whatever. That didn't matter to him, but his family, of course, had opposing views.

Killua was worried about leaving Gon up in the room that night, but leaving him anywhere else will only endanger him all the more. He would forever remember Gon's horrified expression when he opened the attic door covered in wounds. His gaze was horrified, but it didn't hold pitty nor hostility, and that was a gift itself to Killua. He tried to protect Gon from them by keeping him for his family's findings, even that could only last for so long.

Someone turned on all the lights backstage, making both boys cover their eyes from the pain.

Bisky's voice sounded, "What are you boys doing here? Actually, it doesn't matter. The recital is starting in a few moments, and you two and starting the program. The moment you hear clapping, you better be on stage and ready to play." She slammed the door, leaving them alone once again.

"Tch, we're playing first." Killua groaned.

Gon hummed happily in response.

"Are you nervous or excited?" He laughed, genuinely perplexed. Gon was shaking with a determined smile on his face.

Gon awkwardly laughed, "I guess both."

A familiar sound of clapping erupted from the other side of the wall, separating them from the stage. Killua frantically sat up, lending a hand to Gon, "Shit, hurry! We have to be out there."

Gon's eyes widened as he took Killua's hand. Both boys rushed to the entrance of the stage, looked at each other, and slowly pushed open the door.

Bright lights shone on the two pianos sitting diagonally from each other. Killua followed closely as Gon walked out on stage with a confident stride. That itself made him smile. Both of them bowed and sat at separately at their pianos. Hundreds of people filled the room, but Killua forgotten all about them once lowering the music rack to see Gon's joyous smile. It felt as though it were only him and Gon.

"You ready?" Gon mouthed towards Killua.

Killua smiled softly and nodded.

They both began simultaneously. A sweet melody—nothing more, but Killua's heart began to skip as Gon's fingers raced the sixteenth notes, playing with a passion that wasn't present during prior practice sessions. Killua knew Gon's playing was never consistent nor predictable, but this time Killua felt a connection to Gon. As though they were sharing their thoughts through a string—creating music like it was one person playing two pianos at once.

Killua would catch Gon's subtle cues. Just small breaths or a gentle nodding of the head. During practice, they had their backs turned due to the arrangement of the pianos, but now, Killua was able to see all the expressions Gon would make, the shifts of his body, and the waving of his hair. One moment lasted an eternity—a relaxed section in the sonata when both of their eyes locked. It was like communicating without words and gaze alone. Gon smirked, making a small amount of heat rise to Killua's face.

The finishing chord had the audience stand with applause. Killua glanced at Gon, who displayed a victorious smile to the audience, waving back to them like an idiot.

Killua felt a giddy excitement emerge. They both walked off-stage, and people got up for an intermission. The door shut, and Killua felt his back slam against the hard cement wall.

Gon's lips on his, eagerly moving with fervent.

It took a solid fifteen seconds for Killua to begin to process what was happening, and even after those fifteen seconds, he wondered if this was reality or merely wishful thinking.

After a moment of hesitation, Killua pushed back against Gon's chapped lips, somehow soft and rough at the same time. They needed to stop before anyone sees them, but Killua couldn't bring himself to break apart. He wanted nothing more than to loop his arms around Gon's neck, tug his thick hair, and grind until they came. Gon's tongue licking the fine seam of Killua's lips, his desires all the worse. Killua clenched his fists. He needs to get a grip. He can't lose himself here. "Gon," A sharp pant, "S-stop. We can't do this."

Gon pulled away, his lips puffed out in a pout. Killua watched a small droplet of excess saliva escape the corners of his mouth, but he forced himself to ignore it. Gon whispered seductively, his hot breath fanning the rim of Killua's ear, "We have all night," he exhaled a sigh, "spend it with me."

That made Killua shudder. His hands gripped Gon's firm shoulders. The sliver of exposed skin near his collar bone caused Killua's face to flush red. He could feel Gon's lose hairs flutter against his neck, moderately tickling him. Lust and reason began conflicting with one another.

A battle that would end quickly as the backstage door flung open. Kalluto appeared, a Stradivarius violin in his grasp. Killua took that as an indicator to leave. Before walking out the door, he turned to Gon and waved, "Goodnight, Gon."

I'm sorry, Gon. Not tonight.

Gon frowned slightly but quickly snapped out of it. He waved with a dorky grin present on his face, "Goodnight, Killua!"

It was their first performance together on stage—the end of one adventure, but the beginning to many more.


	7. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/oFRGg2kiu2k

There were no children on Whale Island. It was a town of fishermen and travelers, nothing else. There would be the occasional family that spent a summer or so, but Gon never got to know any of them. That left him with nothing else but Aunt Mito, the woods, the animals, and the piano. Gon often found himself bored. The shops were as desolate as always, the seniors knitting quilts in small social groups and men hurling buckets of fish, but everything changed when Kite showed up.

Gon was strolling casually in the town square, waving to the familiar faces when someone new appeared—busking his guitar with expertise, a small crowd forming a circle, each one of them with joyous smiles. He wore a blue hat and had long white hair, reaching the length of his knees, but his appearances were of the least interest to Gon. His focus of attention was directed on the music alone. His fingers slid down the frets with a precision that had everyone stop and listened.

"No one played like that since Ging Freecss!" A fisherman yelled.

Gon's ears pointed up like a metaphorical dog. Ging played guitar too? He walked up to the mysterious man, pushing the crowd away from him. Gon needed to learn more. Did his dad and this man somehow know each other? After all, it was rare for visitors, especially musicians, to travel to this desolated island—the man's hat filled with countless coins, the copper shining in the reflecting sunlight. There was no way this man was some ol' busker. Gon was sure of it. He cleared his throat and outstretched his twelve-year-old hand. "Who are you, mister?"

The guitarist stopped abruptly, staring at Gon with wide eyes.

Is something on his face? Gon wondered.

"Ging?" The man whispered to himself so softly that the sound quickly disappeared in the wind.

Gon looked at him with wide-eyes, "That's my dad's name." An ecstatic smile stretched across his face, "I'm Gon. Gon Freecss!"

The man took Gon's hand and shook it accordingly, "Nice to meet you. I'm Kite. Your father, Ging, is the one who taught me to play."

"I didn't know Ging played guitar."

Kite laughed, "Well, he's one of the most talented musicians the world as to offer. He's a professor at Julliard now, in York New City. Its the most rigorous music college on the planet."

Everything in Gon exploded with awe. Not only did Ging play piano, but he was also played guitar along with teaching at one of the best and hardest schools in the world! "Please," Gon bowed, "teach me how to play! I want to become a musician, just like my father!"

~*~

Gon climbed up the rusty old ladder. Cobwebs occupied the corners of walls, and creaks would echo so far down as the eye could see. If anyone fell from this height, they would be a goner. Since the performance was only a few days ago, he and Killua had nothing to practice, but that didn't stop Gon from wanting to hang out with him.

He brushed himself off and set his backpack on the green beanbag. Killua declared the green beanbag is now reserved for Gon whenever he game to visit. Maybe it was just a stupid beanbag, but the thought made Gon's heart leap.

Guitars, violins, cellos, and two Steinway pianos. This room was amazing. Gon noticed they were all coated in a thick sheet of dust except for one silver electric guitar and the pianos, of course. His fingers ran across the steel strings, adjacent to it was a high-quality amp. There were never guitars where he grew up, so he could only practice the basics that Kite taught him; when he left, the guitar left too.

The trapdoor popped open with Killua's smiling face and messy hair, "Gon, you're here! I didn't know you were coming today."

"Do you play?" Gon asked, pointing to the platinum instrument.

"Yeah, but in my own time. My parents wanted me to start on piano since its harder or some crap. I think it's just because it's an instrument that typically doesn't involve someone else so that I wouldn't get distracted by friends. According to them, I was always more emotionally connected than the rest of my siblings."

What a dysfunctional family, Gon glowered. Oh well, as long as Killua was here and smiling.

Killua strode over to pick up the guitar, flumping on his blue beanbag, and adjusting the amp. "How about some Beethoven?" Killua smirked.

"On an electric guitar?"

"Sure."

Gon's heart pounded as Killua put his headphones on, brushing the bangs out of his face and revealing his forehead. Killua, wearing a black tanktop that contrasted perfectly against his clear pale skin, his thick black lashes making his eyes gleam ocean blue. He began tapping his foot rhythmically, inhaling softly, then familiar chords blared from the amp.

Gon's eyes widened, The Appassionata movement three.

Killua fingers flying through the scales, not missing a single note, adding vibrato flawlessly, and jumping octaves like it was a piece of cake. This sonata was often hard to play for college students majoring in piano performance but on the guitar? This was on a completely different level. Holy shit.

Gon sat there, gaping like a fish. Killua's stamina was incredible. Any normal person would be legitimately sweating or developing tendonitis, but Gon knew Killua was far from ordinary. Maybe Killua saught that as a negative, but to Gon, it meant that he was special. Killua kept a content smile on his face. Anyone could tell that music was his life.

Once he finished, he looked up at Gon. The sparkle in his eyes shimmering sapphire, his unchapped lips parted in a smile, displaying his teeth the color of white, and his cheeks caving dimples as he laughed—a harmonious sound. Gon trailed his eyes downwards, gazing Killua's exposed neck, a faded hickey from the night of the performance. His stomach clenched with desire. Killua had that power, probably had it since they met. Beautiful.

"So what'cha wanna do?" Killua's voice snapped Gon out of his haze.

"I just came to visit. What do you normally like to do?" Gon said honestly.

"Do you like video games? My brother has a ton. I could possibly bribe him by doing all his music theory for a week." Killua snickered.

"I've never played a video game."

Killua's jaw dropped, "Dude."

"We didn't have good internet on Whale Island." He shrugged.

Smiling, Killua sat up and grabbed Gon's hand. Gon's breath would hitch whenever their fingers would intertwine. Ice meeting fire. Soft meeting rough.

"You go down the latter first. I don't want the last thing I see to be your ass falling on my face."

Gon laughed. Understandable.

It was like the first time Gon came over: them sneaking around corners, running through the tunnels with playful smiles, and shining their phone lights on the enveloping darkness. But this time, they ran to a different part of the mansion unfamiliar to Gon. They climbed up rocky stairs that led to what he assumed to be the main section of the house. Killua had the same whimsical grin as when he first came over, and Gon wondered just how much of that happiness was caused by him.

The room they entered had bookcases reaching the roof filled with various video games. Gon didn't even know that many existed. Killua mentioned that they were his brothers, but Kalluto didn't seem like the type.

"Piggy! I'll do your music theory homework for a week if you let us use your joy station."

Piggy?

A young adult turned around, his face greasy from potato chips, and his skin as light as Killua's, but his eyes were dark, scary, and his hair was stark black. He raised a judgemental eyebrow, his gaze traveling up and down Gon, "Mama is going to be pissed."

Killua rolled his eyes, "Like I care." he turned to Gon, who was awkwardly standing there and trying to process everything, "This is my second oldest brother, Milluki,"

Gon smiled dumbly," I-uh Nice to meet you, sir."

"He doesn't deserve that kind of respect," Killua grumbled.

Oh okay. Gon sweatdropped. But everything was forgotten when Killua dusted off a platinum box, assuming it was the joy station and grinning. God, his smile through Gon in for a loop.

"So, what do you wanna play?" Killua shoved his hands in his Adidas shorts.

"What do you normally play?"

"Anything gory, I guess."

Gon laughed. He's glad Killua is starting to make decisions for himself and showing his true self, which is amazing in every way.

So there they were, laying on their stomachs, sharing earbuds, swinging their legs back and forth, and vigorously tapping the remote.

"DIE!"

Gon sweatdropped, Killua seemed to be enjoying this way too much. "Killua, you're too good at this. I died again."

The pools of blue in his eyes carried a playful glint. "What can I say, Gon Freeccss?"

Gon ticked, "You sneaky bastard," tackling Killua to the floor, "Who's the winner now?"

Killua jabbed Gon in the gut, digging his heel into Gon's thigh, twisting himself out of Gon's grasp, and pinning him down with a toothy grin. "Not so easy this time."

And then there was this moment when the only sound that could be heard was their heavy breathing, Killua's breath sweet like chocolate, and them looking at each other with something unreadable present, something familiar but distant. Killua sighed and lifted himself off Gon. "Anyways, you should probably head back before the sun sets."

Gon nodded, "Okay, goodnight Killua."

Killua's cheeks painted the color of cherry blossoms. "Yeah."

~*~

"It's good to see you, Gon."

"Kite!" Gon's jaw dropped to the floor.

Ms. Krueger cleared her voice, "This Kite, he's a Julliard assistant professor, and he'll be helping you all with duets for the next few months until the competition."

Gon turned Killua, who was beside him with crossed arms and a very uninterested expression. "What competition?"

"Every year our school competes in the national junior competition. The top five winners go on a tour in all different countries, but their final stop is at Carnegie Hall, where representatives from schools like Julliard attend. There's a better chance of winning if you do two-piano duets since there aren't many collaborative trained pianists in high school, especially."

Gon's eyes gleamed, "Wow, that's so cool!" I wonder if Ging would be there.

Killua shrugged, "I've performed there a couple of times. All my older siblings attend Julliard, and they often hold performances there, but it's really far away. The flight itself to York New City will take hours."

The class separated into their practice rooms. Gon wanted to talk with Kite some more, but he wanted to find a duet to play first.

"I guess we should continue working on the Brahms." Killua shuffled his bag for music,

"What? But we already played that."

Killua's eyebrow twitched, "I swear to god, you are such an idiot."

"Why are you calling me an idiot?" Gon frowned defensively.

"Because this is a national competition! N-A-T-I-O-N-A-L! We have a couple of months until the competition. It would be stupid to start working on something new; kids have been preparing a repertoire for years." Killua crossed his arms and looked away, something he would always do when he thinks he's right.

Killua is so stubborn.

Gon walked out of the practice room and scrolled through the bookcases of music. He had to find something difficult. Everyone likes a performance better if they know the song. Some people will complain about a piece being 'overplayed,' but Gon knew a way to solve that problem: To play it like no one has ever played it before.

His thumbs caressed the top of the old music books, dust shaking off the withered pages. Golden spirals caught his eye. He grabbed it and swiped off the cover. Ah, found it—now to show Killua.

Killua raised an eyebrow, "The Carmen Fantasy?"

"Yep!"

"Yeah, no. It's overplayed."

Guessed he would say that. "But," Gon slid right beside Killua so their shoulders were touching, "We can still make everyone's jaws drop." then added with a smirk, "As long as I'm playing primo that is."

Killua barked out a laugh, "You're such an ass."

"Is that a yes?" Gon spurred,

"I don't mind. It just means more practicing for you. You, moron, need to be in a practice room during lunch."

"Pinky-promise!"

~*~

As promised, Gon went looking for a practice room during lunch. The Carmen Fantasy would be their hardest duet yet. A duet of romance, hardship, and unforgiveness. What could go wrong?

"Gon!" A harsh whisper sounded from a cracked open closet door. He wasn't sure whether to ignore it or find out what it is. Screw it, If he dies from a chainsaw, Killua's will kick his ass for him.

Gon opened the door to find Zushi quivering as though he just witnessed a homicide. "Is something the matter?" He worded out carefully.

"It's Retz."

"What about her?"

"I want to ask her out, but I don't know how."

Oh, that's a relief. Gon was thinking something terrible happened. "Why are you asking me? Just talk to her."

Zushi awkwardly laughed, "I-um-well, I was thinking you would know what she likes, being around Killua and everything."

Gon shot a weird glance at Zushi. Why would Killua have anything to do with this?

"Oh, you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"They were dating for since like, freshman year. They broke up this summer."

Okay, what. Gon didn't think Killua even liked girls. Something terrible twisted in the pits of his stomach. He didn't like this news one bit. Retz did mention how they had some 'history,' but this was a completely different story. A three-year different story. The jealous side of Gon wondered if she knows of the secret room in the attic, Killua's love of sweets, the soft texture of his skin, the way he would glow whenever the sunlight shone on his sleeping face.

Gon glanced distantly at the corner of the room, "Why don't you just be yourself. She'll like you better that way." He left the closet within the next moment. For some reason, he had an unbearable urge to see Killua right now. He needed to know Killua was his. I mean, they are best friends after all.

Killua was found in the furthest practice room, probably trying to stay as far away from the students as possible. His gaze focused intently on the music in front of him, fingers light as a feather pressing the keys. Even his sight reading was amazing.

Gon opened the door, "Hey,"

"Don't 'hey' me. You should be practicing."

"Don't wanna."

Killua huffed. Gon knew Killua could be scary when he felt like it, but his anger was always playful towards Gon. Every once in a while, weightless insults would escalate to small jabs or sharp nudges, but that just made it all the more joyful around Killua.

Killua raised a questioning brow, probably demanding a reason for why Gon interrupted his practice session. And in all honesty, Gon didn't know why he did; it just felt right.

Gon's gaze locked on Killua's ripped jeans, ever so slightly showing off the milky-white skin tone. He was wearing a tanktop as he did the night before, but this time, it was scarlet. Gon wasn't sure what came over him, maybe it was jealousy, perhaps it was just simply desire, but only a second later, he quickly ducked his head and captured Killua's lips, fingers grasping the base of his hairline. Gon's name rolled off of Killua's tongue

This was far from the first time they kissed. Still, the caramel taste of his tongue, the feeling his fingers dipping into Killua's fuzzy-like hair, and Killua's long eyelashes fluttering against Gon's cheek: It was just as exciting as the first. 

Gon had to get in a more stable position. Killua was about to fall off of the chair, so Gon hurled him up and pressed him against the corner of the wall, pressing against his lips insistently. His tongue trailing down to Killua's neck, latching to that sensitive spot that always made Killua's arms leave his pockets and grip Gon's shoulders, or his dig into his back, or loop around his neck. It all felt so good. So right.

"Gon," Killua giggled, "Wait-"

"No."

"We're at school."

Gon bit Killua's neck—that one spot that contained the fading hickey from their previous occurrence. "Don't care." Finally, responding to Killua, his mind focused on something completely different, better.

He gripped Killua's waste, pulling it hard against his own, a gasp eliciting from Killua. His breathless whisper against Killua's rosy cheeks, "Let me suck your dick." A high-pitch noise escaped Killua's lips and Gon feeling a shiver run down the paler's spine.

Gon took that as a yes. He waisted no time in dropping to his knees and hastily tugging Killua's jeans down to the carpet flooring. Precum dampening the tent of Killua's boxers kept Gon's undivided attention, watching in a greedy satisfaction as he tugged that waistband down with the jeans, exposing all that glory.

Killua was visibly shaking, his knees looking like they were about to give out as Gon wrapped around the head, sinking his mouth to the root. A moan echoed the practice room, and Gon humming in response. Gon's hand remained stationed on Killua's hips, guiding him in and out. Killua's head tilted to the ceiling, whimpering, most likely too embarrassed to watch. The only thing keeping him up being Gon's sturdy grasp on the hip. Every-so-often, Gon would peak at Killua's face. His expression blissed-out, his mouth open with small erupting gasps, and the red spots beginning to show on his nape. 

More. 

The taste started to get thicker, sweeter, indicating to Gon that he won't last much longer.

"Fuck...Go-Gon!"

Gon responded with faster movements, His tongue pressing against the slit and Killua quivering intently. Killua's shaky hands found their way into Gon's hair, gripping it with a throaty cry as he came. Gon struggled to swallow to load, cum leaking through the crevices of his mouth.

Killua slid down the wall, falling into Gon's hold, gasping for breath, his head leaning on Gon's shoulder, and a constant blush tinting his cheeks. Gon's heart swelled, keeping is face nudged in the crook of his neck—soft bleached hairs tickling his nose. His arms, wrapping around the small curve of Killua's waist. So soft, so beautiful. How could someone this perfect exist?

"If anybody saw us, you're dead." Said Killua, still breathing heavily.

The shrill sound of the bell had both of their hearts stop.

Killua rolled off Gon's lap quickly, cursing under his breath. He panicked, pulling his jeans up and hopped over Gon, quickly grabbing his books and shoving them in his backpack. Gon watched bemused. Killua's hair was extra spiky, like a cat getting harassed in some form or another. Killua pointed an accusing finger at Gon, "Dead to me,"

"Whaaa, but Killua-"

Killua slammed the door with an agitated huff.

Gon smiled, Killua is often grumpy, but just wait until he notices the hickey oh-so-visible with that scarlet tanktop. With that, he left to go to his next class. The taste of Killua still in his mouth.


	8. The Lesson of Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/SQh0l240dfQ

Killua had way too much on his mind today—his brother's words lingering in the back of his mind, his parent's text telling him that there will be a lesson today, and Gon. He can't believe all that happened. And Milluki, while someone he doesn't necessarily respect, is right about some things.

That day Gon came over made Killua so happy. Because Gon wasn't there for practicing, he was there to see Killua. He wanted to visit him. Killua could still vividly remember the way their arms would brush when sharing earbuds like a connection through a string—figuratively and literally. And then the wholesome feeling of watching Gon leave with a smile plastered on his face, waving towards Killua with his signature toothy grin.

Then Milluki. While often stupid, still observant. Once Gon was clear from view, he spoke up, "Momma and father are going to be pissed when they find out you're a faggot."

Killua flinched. Panic and worry sent adrenalin pumping through his veins. If it were so apparent that Milluki spotted it out, it was only a matter of time the rest of his family knows. Piggy wouldn't be someone as to tattle-tell, and he didn't need to.

"We're duet partners, nothing more." Killua finished with an icy glare. It was a lie, of course, Gon meant everything to Killua.

Today in a practice room was a moment of weakness. Even thinking about it had heart race to his cheeks. What was intended to be a practice session turned into something different—much different. His thoughts often reeling back to this question: Is Killua's unraveled emotions, dependency on the bright teen harmful to him? And by him, meaning Gon. What if Killua is as damaging as his awful family?

He snapped out of his thoughts when feeling familiar strong, secure arms wrap around his waist. That intoxicating scent of soft pine, the smell Killua has found himself melting into countless times before. Gon.

"Ready to walk to your house?"

Normally, afterschool practice sessions with Gon were Killua's favorite time of day, but not this time. This time, they had his wonderful parents as an audience. Dread shivered down his spine. "Gon," He began, "My parents want us to have a lesson—a masterclass showing our status of the piece."

Gon's voice dropped to a whisper, "But we just picked out a new piece."

Killua flinched once more, "Hopefully your sightreading got better?"

Gon's silence wasn't a good sign.

This was the first time he didn't take Gon 'the secret route' after school. No, not at all. Gon and he walked through the front door. Butlers lined up along the walls, Kalluto glaring at Gon from the living room, and worst of all, his mom waiting expectantly.

"Hello Gon, follow me this way. I'll show you to the music room. Since it's your first time here, it can be easy to get lost,"

If Gon blows his cover, he will throw him off the balcony. Gon is terrible with keeping stuff. Heck, he could practically see sweat forming on his forehead.

They both entered the music room. Gon looked like he's seen a ghost—slight quivers and shaky hands, reaching in his backpack to grab the music. A pang of guilt shot through Killua. Because Gon was assigned to him as a duet partner, Gon is now faced with the burden of his family— a burden so great that it is making him shake with fear.

His father walked into the room, calm and composed. "The Brahms sounded fine at the recital, but we could make some adjustments-,"

Gon interjected, "Excuse me, sir, but we decided to play The Carmen Fantasy for the national competition."

Here it comes.

"What!" His mother walked in, a deep frown and eyes gleaming under the crystal chandelier.

Here it is.

"Calm down," said father. "The Carmen Fantasy will gain more attention from the general audience."

Gon was asked to sightread, and it went better than expected. Well, Killua did make him listen to a recording of the duet their entire walk back. Still, Killua couldn't help but pay close attention to little details of Gon's facial expressions, his body movements, or stiffness in his fingers, looking for any hint of discomfort, pain, or regret.

When he left, they only exchanged waves, nothing more. A backpack slumped on his shoulder and feet dragging on the ground. The joy missing, smiles non-existent, and playful jabs or weightless conversations gone. That's how it is in this house, and Gon was beginning to see that. Anger arose in Killua's chest. His family deflated the happiest, cheerful, and most positive person on the planet. Once again, Milluki's words rising to the surface. 'Gon would be happier without Killua by his side.' he decided, walking to his room with a feeling of loss.

~*~

An annoying tapping sound woke Killua from his slumber. He grumbled, shoving his sheets off him. Looking around the room to throw whatever was producing it out the window. Tap, tap, tap—Killua is four seconds away from spreading gasoline and blowing up this entire house. The sound got closer, Killua walked with hesitance, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Tap, tap—Killua identified the location: the window. His eyes widened, and his heart began to thump rapidly.

There sat Gon, his dorky grin, twigs stuck to his clothing, dirt smudges stained on his tan skin, and a pinecone in his messy hair. He was hanging onto a pine tree branch that outstretched to the window of his bedroom.

Killua frantically opened the window, "What the hell are you doing here!"

Gon frowned, "I came to see you,"

"By climbing a goddamn tree!?!" Killua stood aside from the window, giving enough space for Gon to hop through, which he did. Killua felt the air push out of him as Gon plunged into him. The hug knocking him to the ground. "What're you doing, dummy," he said in a soft voice.

Gon peeked his head out from Killua's chest, "I had to see if you were okay. Killua looked so sad earlier."

Heart rose to his cheeks. Gon walked all this way in the middle of the night to check upon him. It must've at least been fourteen miles in the darkness of night, climbing a twenty-foot tree just to see Killua's smiling face. Another spark of happiness because of Gon.

Killua picked the pinecone out of Gon's hair, giggling with a bubbly sensation in his chest. He looked at his watch. Four in the morning—about three and a half hours until school starts. He glanced down the scruffy Gon. "Did you pack any clothes for tomorrow?"

Gon stuck his tongue out, "I didn't think that far ahead,"

Of course not, Killua smiled. "I have some T-shirts that are a bit big on me, but you're just going to have to wear those pants."

"Can I take a shower?"

Killua nodded his head.

Gon walked over to the bathroom instinctively like he'd been here numerous times before, mud footprints trailing behind. Killua walked over to close the window. A tuft of Gon's hair hanging near the edge. Killua laughed to himself. What an idiot.

He wiped the mud off the wooden floor, and sat on the cozy chair beside the bathroom, the monotonous sound of streaming water from the shower lulling him to sleep.

"Killua!"

Killua squinted, his eyes bulging once realizing Gon was completely naked in front of him, save for the towel wrapped around his waist. That nice view of Gon's abs right in front of, touching distance. And the small traces of pubic hair disappearing under the white towel. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up. Ever.

"Killua~" Gon whined, "You said I could borrow a shirt."

Right. Killua sat up with haste, scuffling through his messy closet and picking out an oversized black T-shirt. Gon is definitely bigger than Killua. They're about the same height, Gon being a bit taller, but Gon had rippling compact muscle that Killua could never tear his eyes from, causing there to be a notable size difference.

Killua flopped down on the bed. Free time meant sleep time. I guess what Killua didn't expect was Gon to flop down next to him and have the audacity to flick his bangs.

"Killua, let's play,"

What is he, twelve? "No."

Killua sat up just in time to dodge a pillow, and it landing to the ground with an audible smack. He picked up the nearest pillow. This is war. Every man for himself: decapitate or be decapitated.

They laughed and hit each other with pillows not-so-softly. Killua could already feel an ache begin in his back and a red print of the pillow lace printed on the side of Gon's cheek. He hopped on the bedframe and ambushed Gon from behind when his guard was down, pinning him to the floor, straddling his waist with a pillow readily equipped, and trying to ignore how good it felt to be in this position.

It was either from hearing the ruckus in the room or shit-ass luck that his eldest sibling opened the door. Hastily, Killua slid off of Gon, horrified. But to his surprise, Gon ducked under the bed within record time before the door creaked fully open. Nice quick thinking.

Illumi's expressionless face showing a hint of surprise, "What're you doing up, Kil?"

"Just thought I should wake up early to warm-up a bit before masterclass."

"Why are a bunch of pillows everywhere?"

Shit. Killua glanced around the room. The window was still creaked open with pillows littered across the floor, one even being on top of the nightstand. "Someone left the window open, and a bat flew in. I was trying to kill it with pillows." Then added quickly, "It must've flown out when the door opened." Killua put on his best-confused face.

"Okay, I'll get a butler to clean up around here."

Killua let out a sigh in relief when the coast was clear. He dipped under the bed to find Gon hanging onto the mattress wires like a literal koala. Gon's black-ish hair tips brushing the ground. "What now?"

"Now," Killua smirked, grabbing Gon's hand. "we run for it."

"Through the window?"

"You bet."

Escaping through the window was a lot easier said than done. Killua ended up halfway through the window, looking down, and regretting everything. Gon is half squirrel, Killua decided.

"Come on, Killua. We have to hurry."

Killua sneered, "Well, sorry! Not used to climbing down pine trees!"

"I'll catch you." Gon attempted to reassure; his arms opened wide.

"If I fall, I'm taking you down with me,"

Killua finally understood why cats get stuck in trees. This shit's scary. Timidly, he tested how much weight to put on the jagged branch, pawing it with caution. Gon looked bemused below; his arms still outstretched like he was planning on catching a descending elephant.

Lightning struck in the distance. Fuck no. Killua jumped down immediately, hair puffed out in fright. Gon caught him, surprisingly. After blinking back into the realization, he hopped out of Gon's arms and brushed himself off, somewhat hoping to brush off his embarrassment as well.

Gon glanced at Killua expectantly, "Where should we go now?"

"School."

"Seriously? It's six o'clock."

"Yeah, seriously," Killua deadpanned, "Practice rooms open at six-thirty and the duet sounds like shit right now."

Gon wilted, "Fine."

As much as Killua wanted to just have fun with Gon, he had to help him obtain his goal.

~*~

The Carmen Fantasy. A work of a struggling internal conflict, lustful passion, and a tension-filled resolve. It was a piece of emotion—something he will perform with Gon for the entire world to hear. And imagining glancing at Gon's subtle expressions like last performance sent involuntary shivers down his spine. Their Carmen Fantasy.

They practiced separately during lunch and together after school. As of currently, Killua sat in a practice room, lights dim, and the acoustics as if they were in a large performance hall, each sound echoing to a fade. The sheet music had annotations on it from the prior user—pages yellowed and the edges crinkled from page-turning swiftly.

Killua focused all of his attention. He needed this to be perfect for Gon, he felt as if he owed him everything, even his life. Why? Because Gon gave him a life worth living. Fingers started to cramp as he endlessly ran through the toughest sections, nails bleeding from glissandos, memorizing every movement, every change of fingering, and every contrasting dynamic. His concentrate was seemingly unbreakable.

Yet his attention was suddenly advert. Smoke seeped through the cracks of the practice room door. It smelled like a fireplace.

Shit.

Killua turned his head towards the window, a shining light, assuming to be the fire alarm, was the only thing to be seen in the smoke as black as charcoal. His heart beginning to ruthlessly pound against his ribcage. The practice rooms are soundproof to any outside noise; it must've blocked out the blaring fire alarm.

Killua panicked, knocking the piano bench over as he grabbed his phone and sheet music, and rushed out of the door, pulling his collared shirt over his face to breathe. It looks like the flames had yet to reach the top floor yet. Now, he had to find a way to get to the bottom of the five floors. Killua slid down the stair railing, jumping over stray embers and finally reaching the exit.

Student's lined up in fear, smoke clouds consuming the sky, and screams shredding the air. Killua looked around frantically, teacher roll-calling, and kids screaming for their friends. Retz ran towards him. Terror pooling in her emerald gaze, "Where's Gon?"

An explosion from inside had everyone wince. Killua's heart stopped. "He's not out here?"

"He went to lunch with you!"Her eyes widened, voice turning to a scream, " You left him there to die!?!"

Killua couldn't hear anything but the rapid beating in his chest; ice-cold shivers crawling up his spine. Even from afar, the scorching heat burned skin, but his mind wasn't focused on anything but: Gon's still in there, he might be dead, it's his fault, Gon, Gon, Gon.

No.

Killua ran towards the building, an adult grabbing him. He didn't have time for this. He brought his palm up to the teacher with enough strength to shatter their nose, and Killua wiggling free.

The entrance doors were still open. Flames burned the walls of the stairwell, glass shattering next to him. This is stupid. He's going to die, but something kept him going, giving him the strength to run as fast as he could through the fire, his body in shock from the embers burning through his skin. Killua's sight was limited to a mere two feet ahead of him. He frantically slammed open each practice room door, his heart dropping when finding the first room empty, the second room empty, the third room empty.

Killua opened the fourth room.

Not empty.

Sheetrock and cement crushed a limp Gon. Blood splattered—red staining the grey carpet. A sudden burst of tears blurred Killua's vision. He used all his strength to lift, dragging Gon out from underneath. Killua sputtering pleas, desperate prayers, grief-filled sobs, "Gon, please, please-" He lifted Gon's body on his back, grabbing him by his thighs. Gon's body was warm, but the fear in Killua wondered if that was just from the heat of the flames. No, don't think. Just get out of here.

Another situation easier said than done. Gon kept slipping off Killua and him having to stop and prop Gon back upon his back. He tripped once or twice, avoiding falling objects that could've surely been fatal. Finally, he reached the first floor once again.

Almost there. Gon could still be okay. Everything could go back to the way it was.

The ceiling collapsed, an explosion barricading the entrance with flames.

No. No. NO!

Just like that, all hope was crushed. Killua slid to his knees in despair, Gon sliding into his lap. Killua looked down, eyes-widening when Gon began coughing, only to pass out once more. Killua's throat closed up, tears streaming endlessly down his face. He pressed Gon's head into his chest, leaning down to rest his forehead against his duet partner. "I'm sorry, Gon." Killua's body shaking violently, his voice too sore from crying, "I love you." He choked out, tightening his arm's around Gon. "I love you so much. I'm sorry."

Smoke swirled, crackling noises of burning wood, and Gon body growing cold. 

The sound of a firetruck snapped Killua out of his broken-state. That's when Killua spotted the broken windows. An opening!

Once again, Killua pulled Gon on top of him, wincing when his fingers stopped working. He leaned over the edge of the window. This time, not hesitating to jump.

The ground hit hard. Killua's mind fogged over almost completely. He could faintly hear kids gasping, and adults running to him yelling. Doctors removed Gon from Killua's grasp, and him asking with desperation to ride with Gon in the ambulance. After all that happened, he can't let Gon go. Not again.

The ambulance driving away was the last thing to be seen before Killua blacked out.

~*~

Beep. Beep. Beep. Killua blinked into awareness. White linen sheets covered his chests. Everything was white, the walls, the ceiling, his clothing—the hospital. Gon. Killua jolted upwards, tearing the medical shit off him. That's when he looked down, noticing his right-hand bandaged securely. Killua's heart dropped. It's broken.

After the hands are damaged once, they never heal back the same. A typical end to a professional pianist's career.

He shook his head, he'd worry about that later.

Killua's ran out of the room, reaching the front desk while gasping for air. "Is a patient named Gon here? Gon Freecss?"

"Room 418."

Killua wasted no time in banging the elevator buttons, then giving up and running up the stairs as fast as he could. He slowed down to a walk once noticing Aunt Mito, looking through the window with a saddened gaze.

How is he supposed to face Aunt Mito right now? What should he say? Will she ever forgive him? Killua walked up to the window. Gon laid there, sleeping peacefully with bandages around his forehead and a heart rate monitor beeping monotonously. Killua sighed in relief. Gon is okay; he's safe.

Aunt Mito broke the melancholy silence, "You know, You mean the world to Gon."

Killua turned to her with wide-eyes and a familiar wet feeling beginning around the corners of his eyes.

Killua didn't say anything he response. He didn't need to.


	9. Always There

Gon opened his eyes to a bright light gleaming on his face, an overwhelming burning impact rendering him momentarily paralyzed. It took a few seconds of readjusting, then he sat up, taking note of his surroundings: the machine that measures heart rate, the various bandages on his body, and Killua.

Killua asleep with his head buried into the hospital mattress, small amounts of drool escaping his mouth. His heart warmed at the sight, the ticks on the monitor speeding a bit. Gon's fingers slowly found their way into his hair: the epiphany of softness, stroking gently with small curious touches to feel the delicate skin of his face, his cheeks. Killua began to squirm, eyes squinting open, and his wrist wiping the wetness dripping from the corners his lips. His blue eyes widening with a sparkle, "Gon!"

"Hi, Killua."

And that's all that was said for the next few minutes. That time they spent cherishing the presence of one another. Gaze alone speaking enough. Gon sat up as quickly as his body would let him, pulling Killua's body into his chest and wrapping his arms securely around him. This time, Killua didn't push away, but lean closer, Gon feeling the boy sigh and release tension. Killua in his arms, safe, one moment that lasted an eternity.

Killua mumbled against Gon's shoulder, his breath warm, and a shiver vibrating his frame, "I have some bad news." Killua lifted himself up, showing his bandaged right arm, "It's broken."

Gon's heart dropped. His mind anywhere but the present, reeling back to the past, trying to rationalize why? How could this happen? Then the future. Killua would now have physical restrictions as a musician. Depending on how bad it's broken, it might never heal properly. Killua may never play again. "How bad?" That's all Gon could muster.

"A third-degree burn along with a break in the third and fourth finger."

Gon winced. The fourth finger is the weakest of all the fingers. He remembers in music history, a composer had damaged his ring finger, and it ruined his performance career. "I'm so sorry,"

Killua appeared almost frightened, "No, don't apologize."

"But-"

"It's my fault. If I had checked before you when running out...if I got there faster-"

Killua. So quickly to blame himself.

"It's not your fault."

~*~

Gon dispatched from the hospital that night. The news spread across town, even reaching national attention. An unidentified suspect set an explosive backstage, starting the fire. Seventeen students dead, eighteen severely injured, and forty with minor injuries. A ceremony took place. A school once filled with creativity, a place for odd-balls to feel safe, now with only fear and grief. The school district's economy nearly collapsed from the suing of the soundproof practice rooms. One kid dying, Gon the only one severely injured, and Killua minorly injured, but with one particular injury sure to affect his life forever.

Flowers aligned the side-walks of the burnt-down school, candles the only source of light, and families and friends wailing at those who are lost. Killua stood by his side, a distant look on his face. Gon glanced over to find Leorio, comforting a blonde young-adult who was sobbing with numerous flowers by Pairo's grave—a junior in the piano department. The only one to die in a practice room. Gon always admired the way he was able to play despite being blind, and eventually, that disability served to kill him. Gon knew the world could be cruel, but this grim atmosphere, the cries crashing against the wind, and some people pacing mindlessly, hopeless. He's beginning to understand just how cruel it could really be.

School canceled for a month. Gon made sure to visit Killua frequently, noticing as more bruises and scars appeared. The original goal for the visitations being to keep Killua happy, but in reality, Killua was the one cheering Gon up, even if he didn't realize it yet.

He continued to practice the Carmen Fantasy. He felt empty, done with music, willing to throw it all away, the dark thoughts never leaving his mind as his fingers pressed a key. But Killua prevented him from stagnation, checking on him frequently and lecturing him whenever he didn't practice.

And here's Gon currently, facing his moneyless wallet again from owing Killua ice-cream due to not practicing, and a repeat of Killua lapping the dessert with the contentment of being right.

"You know" A lick, "my hands are going to heal before the competition,"

"How do you know that?"

"Because."

Gon deflated, still bummed out from everything. Killua furrowed his eyebrows, empathy swirling in the pool of his blue eyes. He raised his pinky with a small smile, "Pinky-promise. You're the one that taught me that you can't break a pinky-promise."

A small smile tugged at Gon's lips, entwining their pinkies, a small amount of ice-cream on Killua's face, unnoticed by Killua. He reached up to wipe it off his reddening cheek, "You got something right here-"

Killua leaned away from Gon's hand, "I got it."

"just let m-"

"It's fine."

"Killua, I want to."

Killua paused, cheeks painting red. "Okay," He became a statue, his body tense as if held at gunpoint as Gon swiped the treat off his cheek, a satisfied hum vibrating a low bass in the back of his throat. Their eyes locked as they had countless times before. An emotion familiar to Gon but something he's unable to label, confusing heat racing to his cheeks, and the fuzzy feeling of weightlessness. "Thank you for saving me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Gon saw a sparkle flicker through Killua's eyes, later be identified as tears when a single droplet went astray. His eyes widened, not knowing what to say in a situation such as this. So he said nothing, interlocking his fingers with the hand that isn't bandaged—warm colliding with cold and soft textures meeting rough.

I don't know what I'd do without Killua.

~*~

It was the day of the competition. Gon woke up with Killua as his first thought. He dressed in his suit as quickly as possible and rushed to his house, scuffling through the vines, pressing the brick, and sliding his body through the narrow opening. There've been a few times Gon had to tip-toe past Killua's relatives, almost getting caught by his oldest brother one too many times. The mood always dismal, each passing family member morose. Gon wondered how Killua could live in this environment, he found each moment a struggle, but the room the duet partners' shared is special, peaceful.

He climbed up the ladder with excitement. Today, Killua's going to play by his side again—a duo once more. Gon opens the trapdoor and peeks through, mouth going dry. Not only were Killua's hands unbandaged, but he wore a new black suit with his hair brushed back and his bangs parting to reveal his always-hidden forehead. His eyes matched the dark blue of his tie, reminding him of the night sky—his hair: the moon. The black contrasted perfectly with Killua's light features, especially his pale skin. He looked...really good.

Killua returned the gaze, his smile, dimples. "You ready to practice?"

Just like before. Returning to the embodiment of their friendship. The reason they met: music.

"Yeah!"

To Gon's bewilderment, Killua finished the entire piece with minimum errors, executing precision like his damaged hands were only a minor set back. The way his fingers caressed the keys, the gentle presses of the sustain pedal, the clench of his hands accentuating the tenutos, and the power. The power that left Gon breathless, wide-eyed, a sensation far from new, but now underlying with a passion of past experiences, memories he's never going to forget.

Playing duets with Killua came naturally, like an instinct he was born with. It's easy to catch Killua's hitches of breath or any sudden changes in demeanor. But something tugged at the back of his mind: the injury. Killua can be very stubborn, selfless beyond belief, and that worried him. Gon attempted to make up various excuses to take small breaks in-between practice, knowing Killua would go as far as ultimately damaging his hands beyond repair.

Hours passed, and the sun aligned perfectly with the round mosaic window shining adjacent to the two Steinways. They left for the competition unknowing that it'll change their lives forever. 

~*~

"This is an announcement for the top five winners of the national competition." The halls went silent. Killua stopped next to him, both waiting with anticipation. "Fifth place: Zushi," Gon looked around to room to find the small teen's eyes sparkle with delight, "Fourth place: Kalluto Zoldyck," A pause, "Third place: Mei Zang," Gon reached for Killua's hands, hearing his breath hitch as he grazed with the pads of his fingers down Killua's cold palm, interlocking their digits in a tight hold. Killua squeezing slightly in return, "Second place: Sumito Nguyen," The fast beating of his heart, his hands becoming sweaty, "First Place: Gon Freecss and Killua Zoldyck."

Ecstatic, Gon turned to Killua, crushing him in an embrace, "We're going to travel across the world together!" He tucked his nose in the small curvature between Killua's shoulders and neck. His scent, both misty and sweet, but his skin so cold and warm at the same time. Gon felt Killua's arms lift, unsure whether to hug back or remain still. Gon held on tighter.

"Killua Zoldyck!" The loud voice silenced all other chatter amongst the lobby of the performance hall. Killua flinched, squirming out of Gon's hold, "Stay here,"

Gon didn't listen. He's tired of not knowing what's going on, so he sneakily followed Killua, peeking his head around the corner of the wall despite weird glances from others. Killua ambled towards two distant figures, his shoulders slouched and his hands hidden in the suit's pockets. Gon moved to get a closer look.

There stood Kalluto and Killua's mother, expression utterly vexed and her fan tapping against her forearm impatiently, "How could you!" her volume could only be classified as a scream, "The doctor said to stay off your hands for three months! You'll never be able to carry the Zoldyck name with fissured hands! We're telling the judges to drop you out of the competition. Tell that island boy that you two will not be going on tour."

Gon's body went cold. He watched as Killua's frame contracted, his head dipping low, voice wrecked, "I'm going with Gon."

"Are you crazy! The family-"

"To hell with the family business!" The bangs covered Killua's eyes, then he glanced up, parent's covering their kid's ears and adults walking away hurriedly. He waved his hands dismissively, "I'm leaving,"

Killua.

Gon stood there, agape. Not sure whether it was selfish to have the rush of happiness after hearing Killua speaking those words. Common sense told him to reassure Killua, but instinct told him to brush it off and race to his side and celebrate. As always, he went with instinct, chasing after Killua, who lightened up once seeing him, a weight lifting off his shoulders, stress drifting away. Gon's felt selfishly happy at that. "You wanna stay with me tonight?"

Killua nodded.

After that, Killua practically spent every night at his house. Aunt Mito even prepared an extra bedroom for the other, but at some point within the night, he would always find Killua back in his arms. Gon never asked Killua about his family. With spending this much time together, he learned there are somethings they'll probably never discuss: Questions we don't want to know the answer to, questions we don't want to be asked, and questions we're afraid to ask.

And then it was time for them to start the tour.

First stop: Kakin Fort City. They're supposed to perform for the Kakin empire where royals are to be attending.

Gon buzzed with excitement and rushed door with a suitcase in hand, and if it weren't for Killua, he would've forgotten his music. Zushi was the only competitor that didn't carry some menacing gleam. He'd notice the constant glare of Kalluto, especially when on the bus for hours on end. Killua and Gon would get into snippy arguments here and there. Killua was always right, but Gon never let him have the taste of victory.

Currently, they are on a bus, a stationary bus. Gon looked out the window because what else is there to do? Out in the middle of nowhere, phone dead, silent crew, and the bus at the gas station in a small town for a suspicious amount of time. Killua's passed out next to him, even his sleeping in public is graceful. And if it weren't with judgemental passengers, Gon would've snuggled flush against Killua and just hold him, but Killua would probably get mad.

Kite, the only monitor for the tour, jumped up the bus steps with a disheartened look, "Attention everyone,"

It had to be bad news. Killua's eyes fluttered open, awoken from slumber.

Kite continued, "The bus broke down, so we'll be spending the night here. We'll be taking a train tomorrow morning, the Kakin Fort City."

The motel was four miles away. Gon enjoyed the stroll, kind of reminded him of hiking back in whale island, but it was evident others did not share the same excitement. Killua grumbled with hands fisted in his pockets, kicking every rock he came across, eventually throwing one at Sumito, who made a sarcastic remark. A brunet with hair that reached her knees, Mei, struggled with her heavy luggage over every bump or crack in the foundation of side-walk. After five minutes, Gon decided to help her. One less person, an enemy, and one more person a friend.

Their assigned room was nice. Each person had separate rooms, but since he and Killua played a duet, they shared a room with two beds. Killua nearly dressed into his pajamas before Gon grabbed his hand, "Let's explore!"

Killua quirked an eyebrow, not impressed. "Gon-"

"We can sneak out and go to the local bar. No one will care since its the middle of nowhere." He added with a smirk, "I hear there's live music."

Killua bit his lip to keep from smiling, "Fine."

Gon peeked his head outside the door, looking for signs of any other students or staff. He bolted to the nearest pine tree. The starlight gleam in Killua's irises sparkled with amusement, "That pine tree's as thin as a toothpick. If a burglar ambushed us, you'd be a goner with your failure of being inconspicuous."

"What? I'm great at hiding." Gon leaned closer to Killua with a smirk, "I never got caught by any family members, not did I?"

Killua rolled his eyes, "Somehow."

The sound of a nearby door creaking open had both of them jolt in fright. Killua whispered through gritted teeth, "Shit, it's that prick, Sumito."

"The last one to the bar buys drinks!"

"But I don't know the way there," Killua complained. Gon almost barked out a laugh from Killua's face of injustice.

He ran off before Killua had the time to jab him in the side. He dogged bushes, jumped over fallen branches and would look back every so often to see Killua chasing him with a determined grin. He halted abruptly when arriving, Killua crashing against him, knocking them both into the bar's glass door face-first. Gon groaned, his face hurt from smiling, but his nose took the most damage out of the fall.

"You are such an idiot," Killua grumbled out, picking the leaves out of his hair.

"What're you boys doing here?" An older man with crooked teeth spitted out, fizzed-over rum in hand.

Killua brushed himself off, mouthing a response like an ingrained script, "Just thought everyone wouldn't mind some free entertainment. We'll play and give our tipped earnings to the bar." He added with a mischievous smirk. A face Gon witnessed more times than he could count, "For some drinks, of course."

The man stepped aside, and Killua casually walked in, "You ready to play the cheesiest, most iconic songs you know?"

Gon hopped on stage and plopped down on the piano bench ungracefully as ever—an upright grand with ruffed over edges and alcoholic beverages on top of the lid. Killua sat next to him with a whimsical grin, "How about Scott Joplin? Can't go wrong with ragtime in a bar."

"I remember every note of 'The Entertainer' from the stupid ice-cream truck ." He groaned.

Killua began the opening, and Gon would add flourishes here and there, stomping the sustain pedal, and laughing at each ting in the out-of-toon instrument. And that's how the rest of the night went. They both migrated to the bar when a saxophonist, along with a bassist, arrived with ready repertoire. Lights dimmed, and the audience would sway to the relaxing beat.

Gon got close to Killua, close enough to see bits of whip cream on his cheek. Killua's always a messy eater, and Gon couldn't be happier, "Come dance with me?"

Killua's laughter. Always a blessing to the ears. "Are you wooing me, Gon Freecss?"

"Is it working?"

The always-changing eyes met his, hair blindingly white, and streaks of silver accentuated by moonlight. And Killua's melodic voice, enchanting, beautiful, something that should never be silenced. "You're going to have to try harder than that."

A challenge. Gon grabbed Killua's hand and yanked him to the dance floor, hands moving on their own, sliding from his lanky shoulders and down the edges of his waist. He pressed closer, closer. Close enough to smell Killua's misty shampoo and the sweetness of his breath. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Gon couldn't help but place his mouth against Killua's exposed neck, feathering kisses until the other responded, griping Gon's shoulders and pressing closer. Killua pressed closer. Something that Gon never had the luxury for in months.

Their hips swayed automatically; the mind focused on something completely different. Gon nosed up Killua's neck, mouth nearly against his ear, "Stay with me forever." He whispered so, so softly.

"I'll always be by your side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the encouraging comments! I think readers' comments are my favorite part of writing :D
> 
> My bf, who has been my duet partner for three years now, just gave me a promise ring! <33


	10. Our Carmen Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5b1tAyE640&list=PL323iAsKmQI7aJIUkKihgWamPDu85Y25p&index=12&t=0s
> 
> I suggest listening to this (The Carmen Fantasy) during the performance. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all the way until the last chapter. A lot of stuff happens >:D

Performance after performance. It's the side-trips that Killua enjoyed most. The time cherishing with Gon, practicing with Gon, playful fights with Gon, and the moments were endless yet too short. Time without him akin to a long, never-ending ritardando. Killua would hold onto every word said, cling to every burning touch, and contemplate: Why? It's wrong, but he wanted, needed more.

And then the whispers during their night of dancing. Never had Killua seen Gon so, so vulnerable, wholehearted. It made him all but want to melt, give into Gon, let his desires override every ounce of doubt. His palms rubbing against the rough but soft fabric of Gon's suit, feeling all the firmness that laid beneath, hands roaming to Gon's pulsing neck, gripping his coarse hair. God, it felt so good.

But all good things come to an end.

This world is a prison, but can be a paradise. Some wait for things to better, some adapt, and some cripple. Killua sometimes wondered what kept him going. The inconsistency was never adaptable; memories never outweighed the good. The weight of each and every decision can be excruciating. But why? Why did Gon get into a fistfight because of him? Protecting Killua's honor at some bar? That didn't matter to him, but Gon meant everything. Killua's forced into another situation he's completely helpless in. Desperately, every chance he gets, he wants to help Gon, owe him for everything, but he can't. He never can. He's useless when it matters.

Just like the ambulance driving away with an injured Gon, except now a police car. Gon handcuffed and forced into the backseat, Killua once again sputtering pleas. Gon doesn't deserve this. Why, why, why?

The car drove away. The man Gon punched snickered, and Killua wanted nothing more than to knock out more of his crooked teeth. His horrible, raspy voice spoke, the stench flooded disgustingly of alcohol, "There ain't faggots allowed in this country. Maybe it's better that boy is in jail, teach him a lesson for sure."

During performances, none of that matters because music crashes over biases. When the music stops, judgment, negativity prevails.

Some are cruel.

Killua sank to his knees. What now? How much can a person take? How many times can he mess up before Gon leaves him, discarding him like a regretful memory?

Time passed, and Killua walked away.

~*~

Killua arrived at the police station later that night, pissed, with negative energy scaring off anything and everything within the premises. The darkness of night masked his presence, dirt soft enough to silence foot-steps. Killua approached a small glass window, using a sharp tool to pop it out without notable damage, sliding in stealthily. The supposed-to-be patrolling guard snored with a donut in-hand. Idiot.

All the cells were empty, except the one with Gon, who fiddled with his fingers, head dipped low, and shoulders hunched. Killua wanted to wrap his arms around the other, reassure him that everything is alright. He ambled closer, hand gripping the cold metal bar. Gon looked up, eyes widened. Killua quickly put a finger to his lips, indicating for him to shut up before making any noise.

Killua picked off the lock, wincing as the rusty metal screeched against the tile floor. He had enough money to bail Gon out, but blackmailing's more vengeful. Killua snapped a picture of the sleeping police officer. They send the word out of Gon getting arrested and escaping; the police force will only look worse.

Gon didn't deserve any of this, but then again, since when was fairness ever exchanged in humanity. It's an ingrained desire to have luxury and stability. No one is genuinely selfless, just some more than others.

Both boys sneaked back out the widow, fluent from practicing so often with his family. Their feet once again met the damp ground. Killua grabbed Gon's hand, leading back to the hotel. Gon's hand wiggled out of Killua's grasp, amber eyes wide in disbelief, "That was incredibly illegal."

Killua rolled his eyes, "Says the person who was a bartender."

Gon was silent for the rest of the night. Killua didn't question, nor did he push. Somethings are better left unsaid.

~*~

Performance after performance. First, the Kakin empire. Second, the capital of East Gorteau, Peijin. Each time Killua walked off stage, anxiety pushed forward, forward. What happens when the tour is over with? The senior year is nearly complete, and his adventures with Gon leave along with childhood.

Suddenly, Killua's submerged in fear, his mind a twisted nether, the weight and expectations of society pulling, gravitating him deeper into the void. Goalless. No past life to travel back to and no bright future to venture forward. Gon's going to move on, Killua is just a temporary weight tied to Gon's ankle. Self-destructive thoughts came along with the darkness, unaware of how much sacrifice was necessary. Fucking pathetic. He's nearly eighteen and worried about leaving Gon like a helpless puppy clinging to its owner.

Wide-awake at night. Alone with the moon, the fogged night sky, and his thoughts. In two days is their performance in Zaban City, the last performance before York New City. Tears welled up in the corner of his eyes, he struggled to push them down, swallow the tightness in his throat. They were effortless attempts. He should be enjoying his moments with Gon, drifting to sleep with the security of Gon's arm around his waist, not drenching his pillow with grief. Now he was unsure whether to move away and distance himself to make the separation more bearable or hang on tight and never let go.

Dreams are not reality, with Gon, Killua often confused the two. Nightmares you could prepare for because deep down, it's your subconscious thinking of it. Then there's reality, throwing brutality you didn't even know existed. For the rest of the night, Killua didn't have the luxury of dreams, only reality.

Dead. Practically a zombie. Each movement sluggish, vision fading in spurts, exhausted. Killua wished he could be simple like his duet partner, just wholly rely on feeling with little room for thought. Gon seemed like the epitome of energy, bouncing with every step as they toured the town, which had its nice areas, but mostly trash. Killua nearly tripped on the uneven bricks, but the weather was outstanding. Killua felt as though that was the only thing keeping him alive from trying to keep up with Gon.

"Killua! There's a coffee shop!" Gon grabbed Killua's hand, running with incomprehensible energy and Killua flailing in the wind like a blanket. But coffee. Coffee sounded great.

Just feeling the lukewarm liquid slide down his sore throat immediately cured everything. Almost everything.

Gon went on, rambling, "Killua, are you listening?"

Exposed. "Yes." Killua quickly replied. Perhaps too quickly. "You were talking about the upcoming performance at York New, excited to see your dad." Killua prayed he was correct. Gon often talks about the same four things, so he had a twenty-five percent chance of unerring.

I guess he answered correctly because Gon continued his word-vomit happily.

Killua nibbled on a sandwich the other had bought for him. His thoughts reminding him: you're with Gon, appreciate every second of it. Time felt like an essential commodity, and Killua didn't gather enough.

~*~

Zaban City had the most beautiful night sky Killua knew existed. Stars twinkling, each unique with shine. Galaxy dust swirled in pools, shades of violet, pinks, and indigos. They sat on wooden planks above a shimmering lake where the moon touched the soft ripples of water. The breeze was cool, moist but not at all humid. Killua never cared to look at nature's vision until Gon, of course. He spoke without thinking, "What happens after all of this?" Killua cursed at himself. He shouldn't trouble Gon with his worries of the future.

But Gon responded naturally, unfazed, "You said you were going to stay by my side." He turned to his side, now glowing amber and pools of honey filtered on Killua's widening gaze, the reflection in his eyes accentuated by moonlight. Gon reached for his hand, squeezing it slightly. Warm, so warm like the sun.

"I know. It's easy to forget the good memories."

Killua wanted to break eye contact, but he didn't.

"We have all the time we need." Gon finished, a heartwarming smile and dimples decorating his cheeks.

Killua smiled genuinely, gently sitting up and brushing himself off, "We should get some sleep."

Gon nodded.

They both walked back to the motel room, shoulders brushing every so often and leaves swirling in the light breeze. He pretended not to notice when Gon reached for his hand, unsure fingers tangling together. Killua felt heat gather in his cheeks as he returned a squeeze.

The door shut with a click. This was the one motel that Gon and Killua didn't share rooms. A big white bed, white walls, and a window with simple curtains, nothing special. Killua sat on the bed, his eyes tracing Gon carefully, "Don't leave." _I'm too clingy_. Gon raised his eyebrows, and Killua averted his gaze, "Spend the night with me." _Pathetic_.

Silence. A room of silence, and it made Killua fidgety.

"I remember...when you said you loved me." Killua jolted his head to Gon. "During the fire," Gon swallowed, "I'm sorry I never said anything." Killua's heart stopped, his body growing cold as Gon's eyes slightly teared up, "I pretended not to notice the damp pillows in the morning, the fresh scars and bruises, or your feelings." Gon looked away, ashamed.

No, don't apologize. Please, don't. Killua could've written it off as no-big-deal. He _wanted_ it to be no big deal.

"Gon," The name so easily slid off of his tongue, "Put your hands on me," His voice quiet, unnecessarily quiet. Is this the right decision? Gon says they'll stay together, but will they?

A moment passed. Crickets were creaking outside, and the soft buzz of traffic in the distance.

"Are you sure?" Gon whispered back, space minimalizing to a few mere centimeters.

"Yes." Killua sighed out, eyelids falling halfway. His body ached for human contact, heat flaring in his lower belly. He looped his arms around Gon's neck, a shudder violently ripping through him when feeling his warm breath, breathing steadily, followed by splotches of Gon's chapped lips on his nape feverishly. Killua didn't hesitate, not this time. He tilted his head sideways and granting the other access.

"Please." His mouth fell open, unfocused gaze on the white ceiling. It felt so, so good, too easy to just give in to his desires. He's almost sure Gon could hear his heart pounding erratically, or the small whines when Gon's big hands run down his sides. Gon's fingers snaked under the hem of his shirt. Gon's mouth, his mouth burned against his skin, tracing his jaw, wetness turning cold when Gon trailed away. And he almost felt small when Gon cupped Killua's head, pulling him down to slam their lips together, back falling against soft, white linens, his tired body sinking into the cushions.

This is fine. Gon wants this. He wants this. _God, he wants this_. His body craved oh-so-needed friction, back arching with a shallow wine.

Gon's eyes hazed over, his gaze dangerous, but welcoming. "Are you sure this is okay?" So close, close enough to feel the words against his burning cheeks.

Yes, yes, _yes_. Replying wasn't an option, not with Gon this close, his chest flush against his, his knee slotting Killua's apart. He pushed Gon away, sitting up to quickly rid his shirt, eyes narrowing as the other hummed in approval before doing the same. "Killua." A hushed whisper.

Killua's mouth went wet. Right above him was a solid torso, Gon's body, he's allowed to touch, it's okay to rub his palms against the firm muscle and sink his fingers into the fleshed back. "Gon." Gon is his. It's okay; it's fine to indulge.

There was seemingly never a moment where Gon's mouth wasn't on Killua, traveling from his hair, cheeks, a peck on the lips, and down, down, down his chest. Gon's name tumbled from his lips, whimpers echoing between heavy breathing. Too quickly, Killua wanted time to slow. He needed to ingrain everything into memory, capture every touch, scent, and noise. "Gon," Killua pushed to no avail.

"It's okay."

Gon wants him. It's okay.

' _Stay by my side forever_.' Those words never left his mind. It's everything Killua ever hoped for.

One sturdy roll of Gon's hips had Killua moan and wrapped his legs firmly around the other. Gon, Gon, Gon.

Gon fumbled with the waistband of Killua's shorts and boxers briefs, pulling everything off at once, and Killua assisted with lifting his hips. Each spot of Gon's touched ignited a fire crawling up his bare thigh. And his hands never stilled, rubbing down the rough but soft planes of Gon's back, fingertips tracing the rigid dip of his spine, long arms holding on as tight, as close as possible. He'll never be close enough, never. He wanted to melt into Gon's hold, feel his abs roll against his stomach, and more, more, so much more.

A moan escaped once more when Gon plopped all his weight on Killua, mouth once again latching to his neck, warm breath fanned as Gon spoke, "I remember that sound." A warm tongue, " I remember liking it too."

_That sly bastard_.

The unrhythmic grinding had Killua grip the bedsheets, eyes dilated. He had to hold still and concentrate, but he couldn't.

"Killua, can I put it in yet?"

A sharp roll, Killua gasping, "Wait-"

Animalistic desires urged Gon forward, pushing his entire length in. "Gon," Killua raked his nails down Gon's back, arching in pain, eyes watering, but they're together. He's together with Gon. And Christ, that shouldn't have made him this happy, but it did.

Gon sped up slowly, a gentle but rapid accelerando, pressing Killua further into the sheets, groans accompanied with whines.

"Killua's...so warm."

The wrecked tinge in his voice had his body heat up a degree. He quivered at the sensation of Gon's rough palms touching, kneading around Killua's body: griping his hips, sliding up and down his waist, sinking and tangling thick fingers into his hair. At this point, Killua was unsure whether he was just drabbling unintelligible words.

Complete. Gon holding on to him like he needed him. Killua's face was constantly on fire, the mind too foggy, and the lustful passion that had him hold on for dear life.

Gon's thrusts became sloppy, sweat dripping down the indenture of his collar bone and between bulging muscle. Their bodies tense with upcoming release. Suddenly, Gon pressed all his weight on Killua, a rumbling groan vibrating against his chest. Warm, so warm.

Orgasm ripped through Killua, biting Gon's lips hard enough to break the skin. Gon collapsed beside him, a messy heap, breathing heavily. A moment passed of only eye contact, half of their face pressed against feathered pillows, words unnecessary to convey thoughts. Actions are solely enough. _Gon_ is enough.

They both caught their breath, dead silence lingering with contentment and something more. Killua remained staring as Gon shuffled closer, arms pulling Killua's smaller frame into an embrace of warmth against his shivering body. "You're shaking." Gon's sincere voice lightened the room. He nuzzled closer, Killua could now feel Gon's soft pine-scented breath as he hesitantly trailed his hands towards Gon's back. It was something similar to a hug. Killua whispered timidly, but surely, "I love you." He paused, frightened it was the wrong thing to say, but the way Gon snuggled closer silenced those thoughts.

"I love you too." A cheesy line that held so much meaning. And that's all that Killua needed.

_~*~_

"Shit!" Killua jolted his hands off the keyboard, hands stinging as if there were thousands of needles piercing his skin.

"Killua!" Gon sat up quickly, elbow knocking off the music, and promptly racing to his side.

This is bad. Only a few more hours until their performance. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not! You never worry about yourself!" Gon hardly ever raises his voice, and that partly frightened Killua. "I'm getting Kite." Killua winced as Gon slammed the practice room door.

Killua looked down out his stinging hands with a saddened gaze. He worries about himself. That's all he ever does. Kite opened the practice room door, "Okay, let me see."

Killua dreadingly put up his hands for inspection, biting back a flinch as Kite touched his swollen knuckles.

"You should be able to play tonight, but I'm canceling York New." Kite left the room in a hurry.

No. It's Gon's dream to play at Carnegie Hall. Now, it's canceled because of him. He turned around expecting to see an angered look on his duet partner's face, "Gon, I'm sorr-" He stopped himself when noticing Gon's face carried neither anger nor sadness, just concern.

Instead, the spiky-haired teen walked forward and hugged Killua, not letting go. "This is our last performance, so let's make it extraordinary."

Sometimes its as though Gon was light itself, never consumed by negative thoughts and always prevailing with positivity. Killua used to wonder what kept himself going, but he's figured it out now. Perhaps he was waiting, his inner self somehow knowing that someone like Gon existed in this world, who was ready to pass on the torch of kindness.

Killua responded in a hushed voice, "Yeah." arms tightening around Gon's frame. He'll play to his absolute best for both himself and Gon.

And so it was time for their last performance. The lights were dim backstage, Killua's heart racing. He squished the hand warmers as some sort of stress ball while Gon calmly adjusted his tie. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

On the other side of walls, a shallow hum, and murmurs of audience members chattering arose. Killua peeked through the cracked doors. Two pianos readily prepared one stage, the ends touching so Gon and Killua could capture cues through small facial gestures. The auditorium was huge, old fashioned in a way with swirly silver and golden designs crawling up the walls, and red velvet seats stacked two stories high. This had to be their most populated performance—deep breaths.

His heart dropped to his stomach with clapping sounded. Gon nodded before opening the door and walking out first. They bowed simultaneously before seating at the piano. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Gon smiled, cueing with a small dip of the head. Begin.

The Carmen Fantasy. Based on Bizet's opera "Carmen" from the album "When Words Fade." Killua always loved the piece, but never did he think it would ever carry such significant meaning. Every dynamic, every emotion emphasized by honest to god life experiences—memories with Gon.

Time slowed, slower than it's ever been during a performance, his mind scrolling through all of the recollections of his life like a tape of film. Killua's fingers brushed on the keyboard, starting with a soft melody that always reminded him of a distant reverie of the dreams he used to experience as a small child. They were merely dreams of friendship because of his cravings from lack of childhood affection; he never imagined wishes would turn into reality. No, not it the slightest.

Killua waited for Gon's cue, watching as carefully as possible until the honey eyes met his. The racing scales signified the true beginning. He couldn't contain a giggle as Gon bounced with the whimsical repeated notes, looking at Killua with a dorky grin plastered on his face.

And then the glissandos. It hurt his hands like hell, but no matter what, even if the fucking building caught on fire and flames reached the stage, he'd continue.

The piece sped up. Both of them would yank back from the applied force of the octaves. Killua couldn't be having more fun while playing piano with Gon, especially when the other was making stupid gestures like sticking his tongue out during snippy staccatos, or whipping his head back during sforzandos, nearly bonking his head on the lid of the piano. And then there were his stupid attractive dimples whenever presenting his signature toothy grin. God, he loved Gon.

Then, of course, the seductive habanera. He tried desperately to not think of last night, attempting to avoid an embarrassing blush on his face. But Gon is Gon, and of course, he would send a stupid smirk in Killua's direction. Killua mouthed, 'fuck off,' and Gon batted his eyelashes in a teasing manner. Killua dipped his head and silently laughed.

' _I don't know what I'd do without you_.' Gon, it's the opposite. I'm the one who would be lost without you.

The minor section. Darkest melodies were resonating from the bass. Neither boys looked at each other at this time. The dark images plagued Killua's mind: Gon's limp body underneath sheetrock, blood leaking from the corners of his mouth, breathing shallow, body cold in his arms. And when the blaring ambulance took Gon away, leaving Killua behind. What if he lost Gon that day? Water blurred his vision as tears streamed down his face. Fucking pathetic. From a stupid piano song. He hated it how it seemingly was written for them, playing with his emotions by the tips of his fingers.

' _We have all the time we need_.' Gon's voice beneath the night sky twinkling stars.

His reminisced to this morning, eyes fluttering open, sheets draped on their unclothed bodies, and limbs tangled together. Gon was already awake, tieing knots with the small bleached-white hairs around Killua's face. And then Gon leaned down, pressing his lips slowly, almost painfully slowly, against Killua's. His morning breath stunk, regardless, Killua wanted to wake up to this every day, knowing Gon is there.

That's when Gon said the unthinkable, "Let's run away."

"Run away from what?" At the back of his mind, he knew the answer, but Gon never runs away.

"After our last performance, we order bus tickets with your credit card to trick your parents, then sneakily transfer money to me so we could buy a car under my credit so your family won't know. I already called Aunt Mito about it."

Killua smiled, jabbing Gon in the stomach, playfully, "You sneaky bastard."

"Ow! Killua, that hurt!" But he was smiling too.

"Okay, so here's the plan..." The plan to run away and live a life with Gon. He glanced up from the keyboard, fingers moving on their own, and Gon sharing a look of understanding as if he knew what Killua was thinking. He's sure his eyes are still red and puffy.

Gon got faster, faster, more quickly than they've ever gone before adding more anxiety-induced tension. His fingers began cramping, maybe his music days are over, but that's okay because he got to play with Gon. Hands burning, one of the glissandoes broke his nail, blood splattering on the keys. More, more, more. Almost there, moving so swiftly that the sustain pedal became useless. Nearly to the end.

The final chord and the audience erupted in applause. It was the end of so many things: childhood, living with his family, and lastly, playing music. If only the world knew.

Our Carmen Fantasy.

Killua hesitated before standing up to bow, his throat feeling unbearably tight. No, he can't cry. Not again. He squeezed his eyes shut as he bowed, walking off stage with Gon by his side, who nodded discreetly.

_First, we ask to go to the bathroom and get changed, simply to avoid any suspicions of leaving the concert hall_.

"Kite, can we be excused to change out of our suits?" Gon asked with an innocent grin.

Kite waved his hand dismissively, "Go ahead,"

They both ran down the carpeted stairs as fast as they could, reaching the parking lot with ruffled hair and sweat stains.

_Second, get in the car and buy bus tickets to York New City_.

Gon unlocked the car, and Killua jumped in the passenger seat. Earlier this morning, they rushed out to buy a car before the sun ultimately rose. They didn't waste time on inspections, insurance, or shit like that. Just in and out of the store, paying the car off completely.

Everything happened too fast as though they've rehearsed this plenty of times before. Killua waited in the car, as Gon bought two bus tickets, jumping in the car and tearing the paper to shreds. Killua laughed at that.

_Third, drive, drive, drive in the direction of Meteor City_.

Where his parents left his younger sister, Alluka.

They won't stop at whatever obstacle comes their way—not abusive parents, not fatal fires, and lastly, never society. Some people will consider them weak for running away, when in fact, it's quite to opposite. They're leaving what doesn't matter behind.

Gon reached over with his right hand, entwining their fingers together, and squeezing tightly.

Sacrificing everything for those you love, living a life for others but also for yourself. Gon passed the torch of kindness to Killua, along with love, and a purpose. It's Killua's turn to pass it down to Alluka, and perhaps someday, people will find out what truly matters: Spending your life with those you love, he turned to Gon, and those who love you.

~*~El Fin~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for finally reading until the end of my first story. I can't thank the people enough who encouraged me to finish this story with positive feedback and motivating comments. Please, if you have time, give your feedback, whether negative or positive. This is my first book, so everything helps. :D
> 
> Sincerely,   
>  Savannah Rea <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my second story, and I thought it would be more beneficial to write about something I know a lot about and experience every day. I'm a pianist at a performing art school high school where you get assigned one duet partner to work alongside the entire year. (That's were a lot of relationships form lol) Anyways, their relationship is the primary focus of the story, but bear with me, I'm frequently going to mention classical music because, take this from someone who also teaches piano, being classically trained IS the best way to learn piano whether you pursue it or play something completely different like pop songs.


End file.
